STORY, a wonderful crack fic!
by Author1-Plus-Author2
Summary: This is ment for fun! My friend and I decided to post this fic we wrote while bored. Have fun! MorixOC, HunnyxOC, and TamakixOC


_I only own the non-Ouran Characters. Nothing else!_

_Now that that is settled, this story was created by me and a friend. I cannot take full credit. Anything written in this font is my work. The other one, is Evelyn's writtings. This is a crack fic, not a serious one and is ment for humor reasons only. The non-Ouran characters are off real people, but there names have been changed for privicy reasons. If you do not get a joke it is likely an insider, so don't worry about it too much. In this story all the members are married,_

_Mori, Taylor_

_Hunny, Evelyn_

_Tamaki, Rachel_

_Sarah, Larry_

_Hikaru, Haruhi That about covers it. This is mostly a MorixOC, and HunnyxOC story._

**"_Rachel!" _**

_**Rachel looked up when Tamaki called her name.**_

**"_Yes daaarling?" (they were still in the lovey-dovey newly wed stage)_**

**"_Can you come in here for a minute monami?"_**

**"_Of course buttercup!"_**

**"_Stop it already with the pet names!" Said the guy who'd been stalking Rachel._**

_**Rachel just batted her hands at him and skipped over to Tamaki.**_

**"_What is it?"_**

**"_I wanted to show you something!"_**

_**He tilted the computer screen towards her. It was a slideshow of their wedding in Tokyo.**_

**"_Look! Here's when Taylor got so drunk she pushed the harpist off the stage and started rapping!"_**

**"_And there's when your sister and Hunny jumped up and started dancing to it!"_**

**"_And there's Mori putting on music!"_**

**"_And you pissed off that your wedding had turned into a dance party!"_**

**"_And there's your mother in the corner sipping a beer and giving me dagger eyes. I had no idea she was so protective."_**

**"_Ha, yeah… me either."_**

**"_It was so much fun."_**

_**Tamaki accidentally exited out of the screen and up came .**_

**"_Shit… it's nothing."_**

**"_Oh my goddess! That's the part where you realized you loved Haruhi. It was all fake Tamaki. It wasn't real. YOU ARE MINE NOW!"_**

**"_I know angel, it's just.. Sometimes I miss music room 3..."_**

_Rachel ran away crying._

_Tamaki tried running after her but it was in vain. She only slapped him every time he came near. So he did the only thing he could think of doing. He sat in a corner making mushrooms, petting his dog until Rachel cooled down and returned. _

_"Tamaki."_

_"Yes my princess." _

_'Whack.' Rachel hit Tamaki with a frying pan until she was sure he was unconscious. Then she blindfolded him, gagged him, and stuffed him into a bag. She drove for hours until she reached the Ouran Academy. _

_"You like it here so much fine, you can spend the next week reliving your years at the host club." Rachel said as she threw Tamaki at a couple of high schoolers'. "And when you are done, you will realize why you love me so much!" Rachel drove away while picking up the phone. "Renge, if you see him flirting with anyone, call me admittedly! And in return I will give you Kyouya's underwear." On the other line a fan girl screech could be heard. _

_**Rachel then drove away to a place where she couldn't be contacted (not even in case of emergency!) she went to the small town of Forks in the dreary state of Washington.**_

**"_Finally! A vacation to a small town where I'm definitely going to be the richest person there!" _**

**_A yellow Porsche passed her on the highway. She was three minutes away from town. "NOOOOO!" she screeched. "Somebody here has money, and I'm going to find out __who!" She revved her engine and headed for the unfortunate town of Forks._**

_**When she got there she paid the nicest looking home to rent their guest room and spent the night brooding about how she was going to figure out who it was.**_

_**It turned out she didn't even have to ask. The next morning at breakfast the family she was staying with was talking about them.**_

**"_You know, them Lamingtons, out there in their big mansion with their fancy cars and shit," here the man talking spit on the floor. "I think they should get back to wherever the hell they came from." (And you sooo thought I was making a Twilight reference. :D)_**

**"_When did they move here?" Rachel asked._**

**"_They've been here for about 200 years, but dad has short term memory loss." said a boy about Rachel's age who she would've thought was cute had she not been so rich… and married. She couldn't help herself from fantasizing about him wearing loli clothes though._**

**"_They had estates here about the time people started settling in this region. I mean the settlers, not the Indians. Anyways, our family's only been here since my grandma and grandpa moved here five years before dad was born. Whatever… Anyways, what brought you to Forks," he gave her a sidelong glace. "Running from the law?"_**

**'_Should I tell him I'm married and getting away from my husband? I don't really look old enough to be married, and they might not believe me anyways, but he's TOTALLY flirting with me…' Rachel was deep in thought. _**

**"_Oh yes," Rachel said, batting her eyelashes. "It's quite exciting really. I had this boyfriend who was really nice. Rich, beautiful, last year he asked me to marry him. I obviously said yes." she glanced at her gold watch and diamond bracelets. "And then after I got tired of him I killed him and inherited his fortune. But somehow the police found out and I had to run to a place nobody's ever heard of so they couldn't find me."_**

_**The boy and his family were staring at her, obviously believing her.**_

**"_I'm kidding." she said, breaking the tension. "I am taking a vacation from my life and I didn't want anyone to know where I was so I went somewhere no one would think to find me. By the way, I'm Rachel, what are your names?"_**

**"_I'm Doctor Finbark Calamitis." Said the bald, stubby old man._**

**"_I am Shippo Lamansky." The father of the household announced._**

**"_I am Morghan Lamansky." The mother, and frizzy ball said blandly._**

**"_I am Edward Lamansky__." The boy said. "I bet you can guess why, and why we live here." he muttered to her, and glared at his mother. Then he gestured toward an altar in a corner of the room with the four Twilight books on it. Morghan giggled._**

**'_POOR DAD' Rachel thought._**

**"**_**Yeah, but I love her so much.**__" Shippo said while clearing the table. _

'_HE READS MINDS!?'_

"_No it is just easy to see from your expression." Rachel had nothing to say to that and went to bed in peace wondering what her fool of a husband was doing._

_AT OURAN HOST CLUB_

"_WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HOST CLUB__!? __Tamaki yelled in horror. His club was a music room. Filled with piano's, flutes, drums, and any other interments you could think of. And in the middle of the scene was a young man with brown hair, surrounded by girls as far as the eyes could see. He was playing a lovely note on the piano, which was stopped to a screeching halt as soon as Tamaki had screamed. _

"_Who are you? Your too old to be a student here, unless you are so stupid as to be held back so very long."_

"_I am Suoh Tamaki, and I will ask you one more time, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HOST CLUB?!"_

"_It is a music room. Now go."_

"_You can't kick me out of my club."_

"_Your club? You and what army Tamaki. The homo twins are gone, so is the elementary student with blonde hair, along with his big friend. You don't have the weird guy with glasses anymore, and the cross dresser hasn't been here for ever. You have no one!" Shiro said._

_**Tamaki started crying and ran to the corner so he could curl up in a ball and mope. "Why does God hate me? What have I ever done to him? Maybe it's my grandmother's evil descending on the next generation! Oh! Oh! Oh yeah! My dad is still the head of the school! I should kick that little kid's ass! I put him in good terms with his girlfriend…" He turned around to give the kid a piece of his mind, when something shocking happened. He was looking at the face of Haruhi Fujoika, and all the rest of his host club.**_

**"_Get out of the corner senpai!" Haruhi said smiling. This time Tamaki's heart didn't thump. "Tama-chan! Tama-chan! Let's play!" a smiling Hunny said as he bounced toward Tamaki. Tamaki was shocked to find that he didn't feel as warm or at home as he used to. "I miss my wife." he whispered. "What?" Haruhi asked. "Oh nothing." he said. He spent the rest of the week goofing off with his friends._**

_**At the end of it he was sure that he wanted to be home with Rachel.**_

**"_And, they're all still my friends, we've just all grown up. Besides, with my chronic depression and her violent outbursts it's like a match made in heaven!"_**

_**RACHEL HAD SPENT THE REMAINING SIX DAYS IN FORKS…**_

_"I am bored! There is no good store here, there is nothing! What the hell does Bella see in this place?" Rachel moped in her bed knowing that the reason Bella liked it here, is because the love of her life was here. This made her cry, unable to face the memory's of Tamaki. _

_'BANG'_

_The door was suddenly kicked down by Tamaki himself. Rachel was grabbed bridal style and taken from the room. He threw her into the jet and started to Japan._

_"I will never leave you again my wife, my love, my one and only." He started flowering Rachel with gifts from all over the world. _

_"My, my Tamaki, what brought this?" Rachel asked, her face flushed a crimson red._

_"You were right! I only need you. I have no need for a host club, or Ouran, or any of my old friends! I only need you."_

_The two happy couple sat in their jet happy as could be, when the jet went red and the alarm sounded._

_"We appear to be having a slight difficulty." said the pilot. The two looked out the window to see a black plane riding right them. On the side the Ootori symbol could be made out._

_"Crap! It is Kyouya's!" Rachel yelled._

_"Why should we worry? He's our friend." _

_Rachel smiled sheepishly. _

_"Well, I gave Renge his underwear… Heheheheehehe…"_

_"So tell me, how did you get his UN-DER-WEAR?" Tamaki narrowed his eyes. _

_"Well… He was really drunk with the rest of the guys at the Friday night club…"_

_"I thought you went shopping Friday."_

_"And Hunny dared him…"_

_"Is it only the guys? Are they flirting with you? Do you see me as your mistress?"_

_"Taylor was there, and Evelyn."_

_"Does anyone stay sober and drive you home?"_

_"Tamaki, lets stick to the story, questions after."_

_"Fine."_

_"Hunny dared Kyouya's to take his underwear off, and I thought I could bribe Renge to get me new clothes after all she is French… So I took them when no one was looking."_

_**Tamaki looked very angry.**_

**"_So you go out with my friends every Friday without me while I think you're just out shopping? What?!!!?!" Tamaki felt like crying._**

**"_Honey, it's just that… sometimes I feel like doing things I would feel ashamed to do in front of you, that I can do in front of people I don't wake up seeing their face every morning. Like drinking myself under the table. And dancing in my underwear on the table to Lady Gaga songs."_**

**"_YOU DO THAT HERE!" Tamaki yelled. "That is sooo something only I should get to see."_**

_**Rachel sighed, not knowing how to get herself out of the predicament.**_

**"_I really don't know what to say Tamaki. And here I thought we were on such good terms since you stayed away for a week."_**

_**Tamaki massaged his temples. "Please, will you take me next time at least?"**_

_**Rachel nodded emphatically and Tamaki gave her a peck on the cheek. They finally got home and Rachel went to bed early, wishing the reunion had gone better. **_

_**The next morning she woke up to find Tamaki gone with a note on the fridge saying:**_

_**I'm going fishing with my dad, be back tomorrow with fish for dinner.**_

_**Rachel shrugged and grabbed her purse to go shopping.**_

_Fishing with Dad_

"_Tamaki, you need to reel the fish in more, not just let it reel you in!" Mr. Suoh commanded._

"_Yes sir!" Tamaki sat down in silence, waiting for a fish. This state of mind however, lasted all of five seconds. "I'm bored…" He moped._

'_Sigh' It was all Mr. Suoh could do. His father-son connection idea was failing miserably. He should have known Tamaki would be bored of such a thing. _

"_Father look what I found!" Tamaki jumped up and down on the boat. In his hand was a small package of white powder. "Who would throw away such a wonder commanders candy?" With this Tamaki ate all the white powder in one gulp. _

"_Where did you find that son?"_

"_I caught it in the lake!" Tamaki said proudly._

"_Let me see the bag." Tamaki handed his father the bag, and Mr. Suoh took a great sniff. He found that Tamaki just ate __DRUGS! __And he himself just sniffed __DRUGS!__ It didn't take long before the two started to hallucinate. _

**"_Victor I love you, Victor I doooo! When we're apart my heart beats only for YOUUUUU!" Mr. Suoh sang._**

**"_They're taking the hobbits to Isengard! Look! Over there! It's a faerie!" Tamaki started to chase her and fell out of the boat. _**

_**Mr. Suoh didn't notice, even when he got drenched in water. "AHAHAAAA!" Tamaki laughed as the water threatened to engulf him. He reached down in the water and grabbed a passing fish. **_

**"_I caught one daddy! I shound a shish!" he then proceeded to take a huge bite out of the poor wriggling creature. "It'sh dewishush!" He said in the childish lisp he had had as a child._**

**"_Wook daddy! Haho!" _**

_**Tamaki swung the fish in a big circle and threw him up in the air, then when it came back down he tried his miracle kick at it, but, being in water, only got him three feet under water.**_

**"_HAHAHA!" Mr. Suoh crowed._**

**"_HEWP MEEE!" Tamaki begged, when he came up spluttering for a breath._**

**"_On one condition." Mr. Suoh said._**

**"_You gotta get me twenty more FISHES!!!" he broke of in maniacal laughter. _**

_**Tamaki got to, and had fifty fish in the boat in less than three minutes. He then resumed drowning. **_

**"_HEWP ME PAPA!" Mr. Suoh grabbed him and hauled him into the boat._**

**"_Let's go over there with the circle birds!" Mr. Suoh crowed._**

**"_YESH! YESH!"_**

_**They rowed over to the shore, where something was waiting for them.**_

_**We'll do it all… everything… on our own. We don't need anything, or anyone!**_

_**If I lay here, if I just lay here, maybe the reindeer would go away… and… stop stabbing me with this Egyptian knife!**_

_When they got to the other side, it was absolute horror. Everywhere there was Hikaru and Karou. They covered all of the island, and started teasing Tamaki. They talked about how Hikaru married Haruhi, and the places he took her for their honeymoon. It tore Tamaki apart, thinking of his poor daughter with THEM! The twins. The devils. _

_Mr. Suoh had a different vision. He saw a fairy meadow. There was a girl elf thing, a boy in a pink fairy get up, and a unicorn. It was a pretty meadow fit for a girl. _

"_How did you get here?" The elf asked._

"_I smelled some fairy dust." Mr. Suoh's eyes grew big, and his mouth hung in a very cartoonish way. He hopped up and down around the meadow sinking his teeth in every cotton candy, and chocolate lake around. It was bliss, but all the stuff tasted off. So he asked the boy,_

"_What is this made of?" _

"_Why don't you wake up and figure it out." The boy took out a fish and hit Mr. Suoh over the head. So he woke up with a jump, and found that he was in a sewer, eating something he rather not identify._

"_Tamaki, Son. Are you here?" he called in vain. By the time he found his poor son, he had been talking to his wife. "Dear God, no. Please no." _

"_So I was thinking of adopting Haruhi. What do you think honey?"_

"_You still love her don't you!? You cheating no good. Well, do you love her?"_

"_Of course I do silly." Tamaki said in a baby voice wagging his finger at the cell phone._

"_You jerk! Do you love her more then me!? If Haruhi and I were drowning would you save her or me?"_

"_I would save you both silly."_

"_Who first?"_

"_Haruhi." The line went dead after Rachel cursed her head off. It took hours before that evil powder wore off._

_**When it finally did Tamaki and his dad couldn't remember anything. They found themselves on the beach with a boat full of fish and bruises all over them.**_

**"_Well, I call this a successful fishing trip." Mr. Suoh said brightly._**

**"_How did all these fish get here?" Tamaki asked._**

**"_I can't remember." Mr. Suoh said. _**

**"_Whatever. Let's get back home so I can see my bountiful wife!"_**

**"_Okay! May I stay for dinner?"_**

**"_Of course father!"_**

_**They waltzed back home in jolly moods.**_

_**When they got to the door, Rachel was there waiting for them.**_

**"_I can't believe you!" she screamed at Tamaki._**

**"_What? Darling? What happened?"_**

**"_You told me that you loved Haruhi more than me! I can't BELIEVE you! AAAAAAAAAAH!"_**

_**She ran in the house raging and throwing a hissy fit.**_

_**Tamaki and his dad were left on the doorstep scratching their heads.**_

**"_When did I say that???"_**

**"_I don't even remember you using the phone!"_**

**"_I know! Me neither!"_**

_"Daddy, what do I do?" Mr. Suoh thought on this for a moment._

_"Son, ride it out." With this Mr. Suoh took some food from the fridge and ran out. _

_"Father!" All Tamaki could do was butter Rachel up. So he bought a new wardrobe worth of clothes, and some strong French alcohol. Putting in Twilight, he was set to face his wife once more. The door opened and Tamaki took his place, a bottle in one hand, red rose in the other. As soon as the door closed again, he turned the light on and blindfolded Rachel. She was about to speak when Tamaki put a finger in front of her lips._

_"Shhhh, my dear princess."_

_"But." _

_"No, don't speak, just listen." He elegantly brought Rachel around. He made his first stop at the wardrobe, and he brushed her hand agents the fabric. "It is Lolita, your favorite."_

_"Tamaki."_

_"Please, wait until the end." So Tamaki took her around the house some more and ended at the table with the alcohol. He poured her a small glass and held it at her lips._

_"Please, drink. You look parched." Rachel willingly drank the glass. So Tamaki poured her another, and another, and another. The drink was strong, and she was drunk by the 5th shot. _

_"I just wanted you to know." Tamaki started. Unbeknownst to him, the door opened and shut. "You are too good to me." The trespasser came closer to the kitchen. "And, too be honest I don't know what I said." Tamaki came closer to Rachel. "But I do know this." The trespasser was in the kitchen about to turn the light on. "I love you." He kissed Rachel when the trespasser, Hunny, turned the light on._

_"Evelyn, what is taking so, Tamaki!" It appears that Tamaki never saw who really came in the house, and just assumed it was Rachel. In fact, he had just kissed Evelyn, got her drunk, bought her presents, and worst of all, announced his love for her instead of his wife.. _

_Of course, Hunny didn't see this as a Tamaki mistake. This was an attempt to take advantage of his wife and steal her away._

_**It was the worst beating Tamaki had ever gotten in his entire life.**_

**"_God Tamaki! What happened to you?"_**

_**Rachel asked when she found him in a heap on the floor.**_

**"_I… thought…. It …was… you," he said through swollen lips._**

_**Rachel didn't know what he was talking about.**_

_**He pointed at the wardrobe with its wealth of Lolita clothing. "OH MY GOD!"**_

_**Rachel squealed.**_

_**She immediately grabbed a dress. "It's all brand! I love youuu!"**_

_**She grabbed up Tamaki and kissed him. "Ouch!" Tamaki whimpered. "Let's get you to the hospital my lovely rich beautiful caring adorable husband!" Rachel said.**_

_**She took him, to her surprise he had to stay for a week to heal a broken rib.**_

**"_What on earth happened to you?"_**

**"_Hunny. I angered him." was the best answer she could get out of him._**

**"_Okay, well, do you need anything?"_**

_**When Tamaki had finally gotten to sleep, Rachel called Evelyn to find out what had happened.**_

**"_Hello?" Evelyn answered._**

**"_Hi, it's Rachel, I just had to take Tamaki to the hospital, and he said it was Hunny who hurt him! Do you know anything about this?"_**

**"_I really don't, I was waiting for you in your bedroom when Tamaki came in, and then I can't remember anything, it all got dark, then somebody forced me to drink a large amount of alcohol… and I woke up in my bed at my house with Hunny sitting in a chair next to me with a mixture of concern and murder in his eyes."_**

**"_Uh-huh. I don't understand either. Whatever, come over to my house so I can show you all the amazing Lolita stuff Tamaki bought me!"_**

_**So they spent the rest of the night going through Rachel's newly enlarged wardrobe.**_

_When they were done they went to visit Tamaki. _

"_I need to call Hunny to let him know I will be home late." She flipped her cell phone on, and dialed. _

"_Hunny, I will be late, and dinner is in the microwave."_

"_Why… I wanted to eat with you tonight."_

"_I will be helping Rachel."_

"_With what?" Hunny started to get suspicious. _

"_Stuff."_

"_What stuff? You aren't going to see that pervertish, worthless piece of shi."_

"_Hunny, come on. It was an accident I am sure. It is Tamaki after all." Rachel took the phone out of Evelyn's hands._

"_What did my husband do any way."_

"_Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Watch the rode, your driving!" Evelyn yelled grabbing the wheel._

"_Shhh! Shut up I am talking on the phone. Some people have no manners." Rachel chatted on the phone and laughed when Hunny told his part of the story._

"_He is so sweet. He did all that for me." Rachel did a loud fan girl screech of victory and went on talking._

"_What do you mean sweet?" Hunny yelled. "He kissed my wife, not you." Rachel wasn't listing to Hunny, she only fantasized about Tamaki doing to her what he did to Evelyn. _

"_If he does anything like that again, I will have him put to sleep!" Hunny raged, and it surprisingly broke through Rachel's fantasy. "Do you hear? He better not go near my wife like that ever again."_

"_Hunny, you are normally so nice, why the bad mood?" _

"_Rachel you moron, take the damn wheel now! We are going to crash and die!" Evelyn yelled, hands still on the wheel. While Rachel was busy talking, they passed three lights and ended up going off the road and into the park. They hit a couple people, but no one was seriously hurt. Rachel sighed, and took the wheel handing the cell back to Evelyn._

"_Tell Hunny I can't talk to him now and will call him back later, because SOMEONE is impatient."_

**"_God Hunny! Next time I'm in the background screaming that we're about to die HANG UP!"_**

**"_All right sugar plum!" Hunny said in a cheery voice._**

**"_Rachel, you must be fucking drunk. Get out! I'm driving now. See you tonight sweetheart, I'm going to make sure this insane woman doesn't kill us both."_**

**"_Bye bye!"_**

_**Rachel and Evelyn switched seats and Evelyn drove them to the hospital with no more mishaps.**_

_**When they got there Tamaki was playing a video game and eating Jell-O pudding.**_

**"_BABY!" Rachel shrieked when they got there._**

_**She jumped on the bed and proceeded to curl up in his lap and purr. "What a feat, purring. Well, since I know you're alright I'm going home. See ya Rachel. I don't think I could stand you company for one more second…" she ambled off mumbling.**_

_**Rachel ended up falling asleep on Tamaki and staying the night, and Evelyn went home to Hunny.**_

_**Hunny was surprised when she got home early.**_

**"_We can eat dinner together now!" Hunny said happily._**

_**They went to the kitchen and cooked dinner together.**_

_**When they sat down to dinner Evelyn had something to tell Hunny.**_

**"_Hunny, I have something to tell you."_**

**"_What is it?"_**

**"_I… um…"_**

**"_Yeeess?"_**

**"_I sent my manuscript to another editor, and they LIKED IT!"_**

**"_Does that mean…?"_**

**"_YES! I'm getting PUBLISHED!"_**

**"_We have to celebrate! Let's call Takashi and Taylor over and have a pint!" __So he did just that. _**

_"Takashi! Come over with Taylor, we are going to have a celebration!" _

_"Will there be alcohol?" Mori asked in a very soft whimper._

_"Yes!"_

_"We shouldn't come."_

_"Why?!" Hunny whimpered. _

_"Taylor is going through rehab"_

_"She doesn't have that bad of problem."_

_"It is a bad habit."_

_"Um, Takashi… is Taylor there?"_

_"Yes."_

_"You should check." So Mori looked around the house, but she was no where to be found. _

_"She is gone."_

_"Evelyn called Taylor over a couple minutes ago. Sorry Takashi!" Hunny waited for a response, but only got a few seconds of silence before he hung up._

_"Evelyn, is Taylor here?" Hunny called._

_"Yeah, she just pulled up. Hey, Mori isn't with her, he sick?"_

_"Hide the alcohol! She's in rehab!" Hunny rushed to the kitchen and grabbed all the beer he could hold and threw it out the window. _

_"Hunny, I can take more, you go distract her until I get the beer or Mori comes." Evelyn commanded, freaking at the idea of giving Taylor beer. Not only would she have to deal with the recovering alcoholic, but an angry Mori. She rushed to the bar in the downstairs and summed all the servants. _

_"Hide all the alcohol, and if anyone asks, you drank it all!" _

_"Roger!" They all said getting to work. _

**"_Hey!" said one of them as they emptied beer down the toilet. "We should refill these with juice to freak Mr. Morinozuka out!"_**

_**They all thought it would be funny, so they filled the bottles and waited behind the couch.**_

_**Mori came rushing in. Taylor was sitting on a stool sipping out of a beer bottle.**_

**"_TAYLOR!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!" Mori fell to his knees._**

**"_How could you let her? WHY!? WHY!!!!!?"_**

_**He grabbed Hunny by the collar. "WHY?!" Hunny laid his hand over Mori's and gave him a warning look. Mori took his hand away in defeat.**_

**"_Takashi!" Taylor said, prancing over to him and giving him a big smackeroo. "Where've you been? You were supposed to be here an hour ago! Evelyn got her story published! Isn't it great!" she was all smiles._**

_**Mori looked up in time to see her take a swig out of her bottle.**_

_**He grabbed it and took a big gulp. Then he started sputtering in surprise. "It's juice!"**_

**"_Of course silly! They're recycling their empty bottles!"_**

_**Mori laughed, relieved.**_

_**Then he saw Evelyn at the table looking dejected. **_

**"_Congratulations Evelyn!" he said brightly._**

_**She looked up and smiled. "Congratulations on your baybee!" Then she jumped up on the table and began to sing.**_

**"_Taywor is a pwegnatzes! Doobee doo!"_**

_**Mori looked at Taylor, stricken.**_

**"_Why did she know before me?" he was hurt._**

**"_I'M NOT PREGNANT!" Taylor shouted at him._**

**"_Yes you ARE!" Evelyn cackled._**

**"_No! Evelyn's just drunk from drinking all the booze they didn't want me to lay my hands on."_**

_**Mori wasn't convinced. He lifted up Taylor's shirt to see her belly. "Really?"**_

**"_DO I FLIPPING LOOK PREGNANT?" Mori looked appalled._**

**"_Of course not angel. I was just thinking… I would name my son Akira." He put on dreamy eyes._**

_**Taylor whacked him over the head.**_

**"_You're right, I'm sorry."_**

**"_What if it was a girl?"_**

**"_You are pregnant?"_**

**"_NO!"_**

**"_Then it's irrelevant. As the man I am obligated to fantasize about my son's name, not my daughter's name! If it was a girl, we would brainstorm it."_**

**"_Uh huh. Whatever."_**

**"_Hey everyone! I have cake!" said Hunny_**_**.** Mori left to the kitchen to get the cake while Taylor slipped out. No one noticed. _

"_Happy publish acceptance to you. Happy publish acceptance to you. You are smarter than a monkey, and you write like one too." The group sang. Evelyn was too wasted to understand the slight insult, and she dug into the cake. It only took seconds between Hunny and Evelyn for the cake to be devoured. Poor Mori didn't get a piece. _

_BAM! A loud banging sound blasted through the house. The group looked around._

"_On the ceiling!" Hunny pointed to a large crack in the ceiling a few feet away from where they were sitting. Hunny and Evelyn gave a sharp look at Mori who started to apologize after cursing under his breath. They ran upstairs to find Taylor on the floor passed out, a bottle of empty wine in her right hand. Looking around they saw the cabinets ripped out and the fridge that made a hole in the floor. Behind the next corner they found a window obliterated, and all the beer Hunny threw out in a corner, empty. _

"_How the hell is she still alive?" Evelyn asked._

"_All the places I hid the beer she found and destroyed…" Hunny's eyes went wide, remembering one other spot he hid the beer. He ran upstairs to find that she indeed found the beer and wrecked the area. His cake keep. It was gone, all the cake was gone. On the floor, the ceiling, bed, you name a place and cake could be found there. Hunny let out a yell and ran down stairs. He shook Taylor to the point were Mori had to restrain him as best he could. _

"_Mitskuni, that's enough. I will take care of it." Taylor woke up to the three of them eyeing her with murderous eyes. She saw the bottle in her hands and the broken things. _

"_I didn't do it." There stares only got worse. "I swear I didn't do it! I haven't had a drink in weeks." _

"_Taylor." Mori gave her the worst of all the looks._

"_I am not lying. An elf thing and its boy fairy came in. They hit me with a fish and the next thing I know you guys are looking at me with malice." Taylor was dead serious. "You believe me right hun? Hun…" Mori's expression didn't change. He put down Hunny, and threw Taylor over his shoulder._

"_We will pay for it. Sorry." Taylor kicked and screamed, but Mori wouldn't let up. _

"_I am not drunk!" She said as Mori lead them out. "Smell my breath, try to catch sluryness, I can walk strait!"_

**"_It's true!" Tamaki said, walking in to save the day._**

**"_And THANKS! For not inviting us!" Rachel said, entering behind him. _**

**"_I remember the elf and her boy fairy! They slapped me with a fish and made me tell Rachel that I loved Haruhi more than her!"_**

_**Taylor nodded vigorously.**_

**"_Except…" said Tamaki. "My father and I accidentally had a mishap with unidentified drugs, what was your excuse?"_**

**"_The servants spiked my juice!"_**

**"_Right…"_**

**"_No! It's true!"_**

**"_It is!" The head servant came in after her. "My brother is a druggie and he hid a bunch of drugs in my room, so I was getting rid of them… and I suppose a bit of residue was left in the bottle we gave miss Taylor."_**

**"**_**AHAHA!" Taylor shouted triumphantly.** __All Mori could do was rub his temples, and go to bed. Drugs, beer juice, and millions of dollars worth of broken things that he would have to pay back. This night needed to end. He locked the bedroom door so he could sleep alone in silence. Taylor sighed and left to the spare room and slept there, however, without Mori she got very lonely. She hadn't slept alone since she lived with her parents. She turned and turned but couldn't sleep, so she went to Tamaki's house and stole his dog. They slept in the bed all night long. The next morning Tamaki woke up to a surprise._

"_Antoinette! Antoinette! Hey, were are you?" He whistled and whistled, but no one answered._

"_Tamaki, who are you yelling for?" Rachel got up slowly and walked over to her deranged husband._

"_I can't find her. I can't find my poor Antoinette!" Tamaki cried. "I think someone stole her!" _

"_Hm. Call all the people we know! We must find that dog! Servants, look for our precious dog! First to find her gets one-million yen!" _

"_Yes, no one will sleep, no one will eat, until my poor dog is safe!"_

"_Tamaki, stop lazing around with speeches and lets go find your dog! I will call the neighbors, and the friends."_

_5 Hrs Later_

_You see, the Suoh family, between Rachel and Tamaki, had an unending amount of contacts. A phonebook worth of them._

"_You haven't seen her. Ok, call if you do please." Rachel hung up the phone and scratched off another name. "Just a thousand left. Man I knew those social gathering were a bad idea. We know way to many people. Unnamed servant number one, it's your shift again._

"_Yes sir." _

"_Haninozuka family, this is a servant of Suoh speaking."_

"_This is Evelyn, what do you need."_

"_Antoinette, has gone missing, have you seen her?" Evelyn gasped, knowing how much that dog meant to Tamaki. _

"_No, do you think she ran away?"_

"_That is most likely, but Tamaki is under the expression that she was kidnapped."_

"_Tell Rachel and Tamaki I will look for Antoinette, and if she is kidnapped, God help the person." The servant sweat dropped and hung up quickly. He dialed the phone again, and waited for an answer._

"_Morinozuka family, this is a servant of Suoh speaking."_

"_This is Taylor speaking."_

"_Antoinette, has gone missing, have you seen her?" Taylor had forgotten about the dog. 'Think of a lie, lie, lie, got it!'_

"_Yes, she was running outside at about 4am, so I brought her in. I was going to give her to Tamaki soon, but I had a meeting and just got back. I will bring her over right away." _

"_Very good, I will tell Tamaki now, thank you." _

"_Lord Tamaki, the Morinozuka family has your dog, and will bring her here shortly." Tamaki was so overjoyed he fainted right on the spot. Rachel was happy that she no longer needed to call people, so she started the dial the numbers of people she wanted to tell the good new to. _

_At the Morinozuka house_

_Taylor leashed the dog up and started to tip toe out side. Mori was in kendo, and she would rather not explain to him why she had Tamaki's dog, or how she got it. The big problem was that the kendo room was right by the door that lead to her car. She had to be very stealthy. _

"_Almost there."_

"_Bark." the dog blew it. Mori stepped out of the room, a questioning expression on his face._

"_Got to go, sorry!" Taylor said and she sped out the door before Mori could catch her. He would have to ask about this later, but for now, he needed to train._

_**As Taylor opened the door at the Suoh mansion, Antoinette promptly hopped out and peed on the lawn. "You must be happy to be home." Taylor said. Antoinette skipped to the front door and barked imperiously. A maid let her in and gave her a big juicy bone.**_

**"_Welcome home girl!" she said cheerfully._**

_**Antoinette was too busy gnawing to reply. "Thank you for bringing her back miss!" she said to Taylor. "No problem. Um, I gotta go… tell Mrs. Suoh I said hi… Bye!" she scampered so she wouldn't be subject to further questioning.**_

**"_I need to go somewhere for a bit, I'm feeling a little off." Taylor thought in the car as she pulled out. "How about a nice little diner for a spot of coffee and some pancakes!" She licked her lips and drove off._**

_**Back at her house, Mori was just finishing up his workout when Hunny came in and knocked him over. "What? Oh, Mitsukuni. How are you today?" **_

**"_I'm in a pretty baaaad mood Takashi. A baaaaaaaaad moooooooooooood."_**

_**He managed to sound both like a sheep and a cow in the same sentence.**_

**"_I can tell." said Mori hesitantly. "What's wrong?"_**

**"_Well-" he hiccupped, "I was sitting on me coooouuuch todeeey, thinkin' that I needed some teeeeheheheheheeeeeee! Some teea…When I sent a servant to get me some he came back with a heeheehEEEE! A beer! Hahahahahahaha…" he broke off in hysterics. _**

**"_It turns out it wasn't even my servant! It waa, waaa, waaazz my swervents weeetle bother! Heeheeheeee!"_**

**"_Mmm hmmm…" Mori said._**

**"_And he gave me the sayyyme ting he gaveded Taywor! AHAHAAAAAA!"_**

_**Mori smacked his palm to his forehead. "You mean you are on drugs? What the hell!"**_

_**He gave Hunny a smart rap on the head which knocked him out, then picked him up and carried him to the guest room. **_

**"_But that's not even the best part!" Hunny said, giving Mori a shake._**

**"_I sawded the elf and it's fairy boyee!"_**

_**Mori paused, "What were they doing?" **_

_**Hunny giggled. "They was trying to break into our safe! Aheeeeee"**_

_**Mori was appalled. "What did you do about it?"**_

**"_I told em the code o course!"_**

**"_WHY?"_**

_**Hunny gaffawed. "U cuz it only gots storage! Wahaha, all ourz money's at the bank!"**_

_**Mori sighed in relief and set Hunny on the bed. **_

**"_Go to sleep."Hunny shut his eyes._**

_**Mori left the room with a headache**. 'Anything else?' Mori wondered. 'Drug, beer, drugs, wife leaving in guilt trying to go without being caught.' He forgot about that one. 'Hm. I need a vacation. Alone.' So Mori left a note on the counter saying he left for vacation and would be back in a week. He didn't say where he was going. He left his cell phone by the note to show no one could contact him. He needed to leave, and spend some time away from this crazy, drama focused, pair of authors. In fact, he kept his whereabouts from the authors themselves. That was how serious he was. _

_Taylor came home hours later to find Mori's note on the counter. 'I should kept the dog…' she sobbed to herself. That was when she got an idea. 'I need a pet, but I will need Mori's permission or I might get in trouble.'_

_"Mori, I want to get a pet, if you object, say it now." There was silence. 'Well he didn't say no.' Taylor grabbed Evelyn and Rachel and Sarah A. in search of a pet. _

_"We should go to Petco." Sarah suggested. _

_"Petsmart." said Evelyn._

_"Petland has a bunch of dogs!" Rachel wanted to be part of the conversation too._

_"Have you heard what they do to those poor dogs Rachel?" Sarah yelled. "I hope the go out of business." _

_"Well we should save those dogs!"_

_"No, we should buy nothing from them so they go out of business!"_

_"Save the dogs!"_

_"Kill the store!"_

_"Save!"_

_"Kill!"_

_"Save!"_

_"Kill"_

_"Evelyn!" They said together. "Take a side!" Evelyn sweat dropped slowly trying to disappear in a corner._

_"It doesn't matter, we are going to the rescue league. You are all wrong so deal with it." Taylor announced. Before any of them could object, Taylor got out of the car and went into the building, the rest fallowing in suit. _

_"What kind of animal are you looking for?" Rachel asked._

_"Normally, it would be a reptile of some sort, but I want something I could lay in bed with. I will get a cat!" Taylor ran over to the cat section before anyone could rejecter what she just said._

_"What about Mori, don't you two share a room?" Sarah asked._

_"Well that's rude." Evelyn commented. "Isn't that a little personal?"_

_"It's okay. He left on vacation." Taylor looked through the cages full of noisy cats. _

_"Did he tell you were he went?" Sarah interfered further._

_"No."_

_"Did he leave you with a way to get in contact with you?"_

_"No. look he just needs to get away from this nutty story, that all." Sarah put her hand under her chin and looked like she was thinking about something really hard. "What? Is that bad?"_

_"Cheating." She said bluntly rapping her arm around Taylor's neck. "He's cheating on you!" Sarah sobbed. She pulled Taylor into a tight hug._

_"That is ridicules Sarah. Mori is loyal." Evelyn said while pulling Sarah off of Taylor. _

_"Think about it! He left without telling Taylor!" Sarah put one finger up. "He didn't tell her were he was going!" She added a second finger. "He didn't even give her a way to contact him." She added a third. "And last, he left his cell phone! You can't find him by satellite now! Why would he go that far to get away unless he was cheating on you!" The group couldn't respond to that. She was making some sense. Taylor picked up a cat and started to pet it fast, and roughly._

_**Just then Taylor's phone rang, the caller id said 'blocked'. "I wonder who it is?" Taylor said.**_

_**It was Mori. **_

**"_Just so you know, I am going on vacation to take a break from the two insane authors, they don't even know where I am, so… I love you… and I'll see you in a week. And tell Sarah I heard what she said, and she's CRAZY! Tell everyone hi!" 'CLICK'_**

**"_It was Mori, he said to tell everyone "Hi", and to tell Sarah "I heard that"."_**

_**Sarah looked weirded out. "Really? Wonder how he managed that?"**_

**"_WHATEVER!" Rachel said, "Let's just get her a fricken cat! I say she's a Siamese kitty kind of person. Did you remember to ask him if he minded?"_**

_**The phone rang again.**_

**"_I'm allergic to cats, so get a hypoallergenic one." 'CLICK'_**

**"_Mori said to get a hypoallergenic cat. So how about… I can't think of one!"_**

**"_I had one when I lived with my mom!" Evelyn said. "It was a Bengal-Oci-something mix." _**

**"_We have Bengals!" an employee said, edging into their conversation._**

**"_What other hypoallergenic cats have you got?"_**

_**An hour later Taylor was leaving the shop with a small kitten in her arms, it looked just like Evelyn's old cat Frodo.**_

_**They took it home and locked it in a room with a litter box.**_

**"_Now we go shop for kitty supplies!" Rachel shouted._**

_The group went shopping for cat supplies and took only minutes because Taylor was an in and out kind of shopper. _

"_Taylor, what are you going to name the cat?" Sarah asked._

"_That's easy! Akira!" _

"_Why? I thought that was going to be your future son's name." Evelyn said._

"_Well, I don't plan on having a kid, so this will have to be the next best thing." _

"_Does Mori know that?" Rachel asked._

"_After all, doesn't someone have to carry on your family name?" Sarah added._

"_That is what Mori's brother is for."_

"_Do either of them know that?" The group asked._

"_Hey, did you hear? Tamaki got his dog back!"_

"_They don't do they?" Evelyn said, as a matter of factly. _

"_You don't have a say, your husbands a druggy."_

"_You are a druggy too."_

"_Yeah, but your husband was stupid enough to drink the beer after I was drugged." The other two girls just laughed at this fight._

"_At least my husband doesn't need a vacation from me!"_

"_At least mine is life sized!"_

"_How could you say that!?" Evelyn fumed. Sarah grabbed Taylor, while Rachel held Evelyn. _

"_Just stop!" Rachel blew a whistle and the girls stopped. _

"_This is just a distraction from the question at hand, and we are not done meddling in your marriage! Right Sarah?"_

"_Right!" Rachel and Sarah let go of the girls and they all stared at Taylor._

"_Come on Taylor."_

"_Well what about you? If you really wanted kids you would have had them by now." Evelyn looked over her shoulder to see the eyes now turned on her. When Evelyn looked back Taylor took the car and ran off._

'_Meddling!" Sarah and Rachel war-screamed as the took Evelyn to the Suoh manner.** Rachel called over Tamaki to start probing Evelyn since Taylor disappeared.** _

_**Tamaki came over munching on chips. "What's up?"**_

**"_We're probing Evelyn about why she hasn't had kids yet."_**

_**Tamaki looked at Rachel. "Speaking of children, why haven't we had them yet?"**_

**"_First, we've only been married for like a month, and second, I don't plan on having kids. But you know, I won't hate them or anything if I do. Are me and Antoinette not enough?"_**

_**Tamaki backtracked, "Well, of course you are. I love you, I mean… Me and the guys are meeting tonight, gotta go or I'm late!" he zoomed out of there.**_

**"_Anyways, Evelyn, what about you. I always thought you'd have kids." (She freakin tells me that ALL THE TIME.)_**

**"_Well, I guess me and Hunny aren't ready. We'll do things in our own sweet time. I mean, look how Sarah and Larry turned out, having kids right away. They don't even sleep in the same bedroom anymore!"_**

_**Sarah blushed and turned away in shame.**_

**"_EVELYN!"_**

**"_Well, she was badgering Taylor about her marriage."_**

**"_She was!" Taylor said as she climbed in the window._**

**"_THERE IS A DOOR!" Rachel shrieked._**

**"_Yes, but it's not as fun."_**

**"_Hey! When did the party start?" Sarah Collins said, kicking down the door with a bottle of champagne in her hand._**

**"_NO!" everyone shouted as Taylor dove toward her._**

**"_Bubbling juice anyone?" Sarah said. Taylor stopped in mid-air._**

**"_It's not an addiction! It's just a bad habit! I'm going home to my cat!" she ran out the door._**

_"Sucker." Sarah smirked. She got out the brandy and poured drinks. They made sure the doors were locked, and the window's nailed shut. Last, they had the servants try the drinks first so they didn't get any drugs in them. _

_At the bar with Tamaki and Hunny_

_"Hunny, its about time you got here." Tamaki waved. It was a weekly habit,. Tamaki, Hikaru, Koaru, Lucas, Larry, Mori, and Hunny gathered for a drink at a public bar. They would talk about their wives, money, games, and whatever else drunk men talk about. _

_"Tamaki, don't yell so loud." Hunny whimpered. "I don't feel well. I feel like someone hit me in the back of the head." It seems the drugs had an ugly affect on him. _

_"Want a drink?" Larry offered. Hunny slowly took the drink and spit it out as soon as it touched his lips. "Water!" _

_"You drank the first water, so you know what that means!" Larry laughed._

_"You have to stay sober and drive us home!" The twin said poking at Hunny. _

_"Hey, we can't do that! Takashi isn't here yet!" Hunny said after throwing the cup at Larry. _

_"He is late. So it counts, and you have to stay sober!" The twins said moving the beer can slowly in front of Hunny._

_"Were is Mori?" Lucas asked. _

_"I don't know." Hunny said._

_"You should call him." Larry handed his phone over to Hunny. Hunny dialed the phone and waited. No one answered._

_"He isn't answering!" Hunny wailed. He started running around in circles not knowing what to do._

**"_Takashi always answers when I call!"_**

_**His phone rang, it said 'Blocked'.**_

_**Hunny answered. "Hello?"**_

**"_Mitsukuni, I won't be at the bar tonight. I'm on vacation. Tell the guys sorry. Bye."_**

**'_beep. Beep. Beep.' _**

**"_Takashi said he can't come." Hunny started crying._**

_**Kaoru handed him a beer. "I'll be the designated driver." he said kindly.**_

_**Hunny drank until he couldn't see straight.**_

**"_You know? I never wanted to be cute… It just happened, and then all the peer pressure because I was small with big eyes.. I WANTED TO BE A MAN! Wahahaha…" Hunny sobbed._**

**"_Hunny, you love being cute. Shut up. You go crazy if you think there's anyone within a 100 mile radius that might be slightly cuter." Hikaru said._**

**"_WHERE? WHERE?!" Hunny said, looking around with monster-from-the-pits-of-hell eyes._**

**"_Told you." Hikaru muttered. _**_That was when he had a thought. He looked at Larry and asked, "How old are you Larry?" All eyes turned to Larry. In all there time they never knew how old Larry was, not only Larry but…_

"_Lucas?" They looked at Lucas and Larry._

"_I am 25." Lucas said. "Trolls age faster than humans."_

"_Well, I guess that makes me, 20!" Larry said (This character was based off a friend who is 13). The bar tender just realized, they never checked his id, but just assumed if he was with them that he was at least of age to drink. The guys knew at once he was lying, and then they saw the bar tender coming closer. Hikaru and Koaru made a fake id, and gave it to Larry._

"_We need some id, sir." The man asked._

"_Here." He handed the bar man his fake id. It passed. So they began drinking, knowing that they should continue this conversation in the car._

_**But when they were on their way home, nobody was sober enough to carry on coherent conversation except Kaoru, who's limit had been one beer.**_

**"_I suppose I'll have to be the one to remember this." Kaoru said cheerfully. "Kilavfsi OOOHA!" said Hikaru._**

_**Tamaki let out a high pitched giggle.**_

_**Kaoru dropped them all of with their wives and went home to his adorable Kimiko.**_

**"_I see you were the designated driver." she said when he walked in._**

**"_Yeah." he said, kissing her on the cheek._**

**"_Well then, I guess you won't be needing this in the morning." she said, taking ibuprofen, coffee, and pepto off the counter._**

**"_I'm pretty tired hon, let's go to bed."_**

**"_Okay." Kimiko said cheerfully. That night Kaoru slept deeply, but in the morning he still had a leftover headache from being subject to his friends._**

_**Hunny woke up with a killer hangover.**_

_Worst of all, Evelyn was not there to help him. She had a sleep over with Sarah and Rachel at the Suoh manner. His hangover was so bad he couldn't see strait, so he couldn't call his wife. The servants went on vacation, and he was completely alone. Looking at the clock he saw it was 12 something. It would be at least another hour or so before Evelyn came back at the least. As best he could, he climbed up on the counter and went through the medicine cabinet. He still couldn't see strait so it was hard to read the labels. _

"_Hey, Evelyn, Hunny! You here?" Taylor called. 'Thank God, she can help me.'_

"_In here. I need help!" Taylor came in to see Hunny inside a circle of medicine bottle. _

"_What's wrong?" Taylor sat down by Hunny and rubbed his back. _

"_Hangover." Taylor got some ibuprofen, pepto, cake, and ice. She gave the items to him and put him in a dark room with sound proof walls. _

"_Come back out in an hour after you have taken everything. You should be fine."_

"_How do you not get this kind of hangover every day. I have seen you in the morning right after you have hundreds of cans of beer. You wake up early and fine."_

"_I don't get hangovers anymore. I just drink too often to get hangovers. Heck, I rarely get drunk. I just fake it. You have no idea what you can get away with when you plead drunk."_

"_Hey, my alcohol has been slowly missing, and I thought it was the servants. I sent them out on vacation and the alcohol is still missing. That you?" _

"_Mori will not allow alcohol in the house. So I take yours while he is around."_

**"_I see. Well, after this I don't think I'll be getting any booze for about a year, and since Evelyn doesn't drink that much, she won't mind."_**

_**Taylor ran out of the house screaming "NOOO!"**_

_**Hunny ended up having to stay in the room for three hours, by the time he got out, Evelyn was home.**_

**"_Where did these come from?" she asked, looking at all the medicine on the floor. "The cupboard." Hunny replied._**

**"_I don't remember all these, Topomax? Morphine?" _**

**"_Your mother left over half of those over all the times she's visited."_**

**"_God! Really?"_**

**"_Yes."_**

**"_But what are they doing on the floor?"_**

**"_I had such a bad hangover I couldn't see straight, and I was trying to find the ibuprofen."_**

**"_Oh honey, I'm sorry!"_**

**"_It's okay, Taylor came over and helped me."_**

**"_Well, I can't think of anything else to write."_**

**"_It's okay, you already got published."_**

_"I suppose."_

_"Something wrong?" Evelyn only sighed and nodded her head no. She went to the kitchen and started to cook. "What are you making?"_

_"Fancy tuna." She answered melancholy. _

_"Please tell me what's wrong. It is so obvious, and I don't like you keeping secrets from me."_

_"Do you think about having kids?" She asked, not daring to look at her husband. Good thing to, because he looked horror stricken. _

_"Sometimes. Do you?"_

_"Do you ever think about names like Mori?" Hunny never did, he wasn't sentimental in 'that' way. He knew what he had to say._

_"Yes. Not as often as him, but from time to time."_

_"What would you name a boy?" He couldn't think of a boy name._

_"You would think it was silly." He said, buying his time._

_"No, tell me. Please." 'um… think, think.'_

_"It would be." 'Just think of a random name.' "Taylor!" 'Good, that's a boys name!'_

_"Why Taylor?" A slight announced hinted her voice. 'Crap.'_

_"It is a boys and girls name."_

_"Well, do you want a kid?" Hunny thought about it and he did want a kid. He did._

_"Yes." _

_"Good, so I want one too!" (You and your raunchy implications O_O)_

_Back to Taylor _

_"I am soooo bored." Taylor wandered around the house with a phone in one hand and a phonebook in the other. "Both Rachel's would bug about my personal life, so both of them are off the list. I don't want to hang out with ether Sarah's today. Evelyn had a do not disturb sign on her house door. Man. You know what I want to hang out with a single person for once, who would not bug me about my personal life." _

_2hrs later_

_"So did you bring the brandy Landon?" Taylor could only think of one boy who was single and wouldn't bug. She could just have a drink, play some games and eat. It would be great. _

**"_No, but I did bring something else," he came uncomfortably close. "I knew you would come crawling back. That damn rich boy would never live up to the paradise you had with me."_**

**"_WHAT?! We never even dated! I haven't seen you in years!"_**

**"_I know, I'm just kidding. So what's happening? What's up?"_**

**"_I'm married to a manga character, I'm rich, and the only friends I have are either annoying or unavailable."_**

**"_I see. Well, I got married as well. To a girl I met in college, her name is Jill and she's just amazing. We have a little girl together, Natalie. Want to see her picture?" he pulled out his wallet and Taylor spent the next two hours hearing all about his life._**

_**Back with Evelyn and Hunny**_

**"_So, you want to order Chinese?" Hunny asked._**

**"_Sure. I'll have home-style bean-curd and crab rengunes." _**

**"_Okay."_**

**"_What the hell is with the "do not disturb sign" if you aren't even doing anything?" Taylor raged._**

**"_Nothing gives me more pleasure than disappointing you." Evelyn said smirking._**

**"_Yay!" Taylor screamed. "Takashi came back! TAKASHI I MISSED YOU! MY LIFE IS DULL WITHOUT YOU!"_**

_**She pounced on him and they left for their house for some privacy.**__ After all, would you want someone disturbing your chess game? _

"_Who was that guy?" Mori asked._

"_Just a guy from school."_

"_Can't you just get a girlfriend that you can hang out with when I am gone. Every time I leave you are hanging out with some guy."_

"_If girls talked less, I would hang out with them when you are gone." _

"_Hm. I found the brandy."_

"_Well, its not like I am in rehab or anything."_

"_Right, your not in rehab, but you should be."_

"_Why bother. If you can't keep me from alcohol, what makes you think a facility can. You saw what I did to Hunny's house."_

"_You were on drugs."_

"_I just saw colors, the rampage was because I was bored."_

"_I don't get I how fell in love with you sometimes. You were not what I was expecting in a wife when I was in high school." Taylor put her arm around Mori's neck._

"_What did you think your wife was going to be like?"_

"_A nice, house wife."_

"_How bland."_

"_What was your husband going to be like?" Taylor was a little annoyed because he was drinking without letting her take so much as a sip. So it was time to mess with him for the sake of payback._

"_Alphonse Elric." Mori spit out his drink and gripped the couch so much he put a hole in it._

"_You still want him?"_

"_You want your bland wife?"_

"_No. What about you?" Taylor laughed hard. _

"_Jeez, lighten up." She hit him on his back and walked out._

_At the Suoh manner_

"_Tamaki, guess what!?" Rachel called._

"_Yes my dear."_

"_Evelyn plans on having a baby!"_

"_Yippy! We should have a baby too Rachel." She looked at her husband and hit him on head._

"_Hell no, how well do you know me Tamaki."_

"_Please."_

"_No."_

"_Can we adopt?" _

**"_Tamaki, __if I'm going to have a child it's going to be two things, my own, and an accident."_**

**"_Fine, fine. But you know, we would have adorable children."_**

**"_Well, of course. I mean, I am the epitome of beauty and you're, well, you!"_**

_**The things they did next are inappropriate for small children. So we will go check out what Evelyn and Hunny were doing.**_

**"_It's party time!" Taylor shouted. _**

**"_No.." Mori said, dragging her to the car, "It's time for corrective surgery. I'm tired of trying to keep you away from alcohol. I'm going to correct this problem, and then you can go back to social drinking. Okay?" he looked almost like he was begging._**

**"_Okay, okay." Taylor patted his head. "I'm sorry I cause you so much stress."_**

_**Two weeks later Taylor was cured so they had a big party (with minimal drinking). **_

_**That night Evelyn had an announcement………………………………..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

_**..........................................................................................................................................**_

**"_They're starting printing my book next week! And I'm pregnant!" (I got to it before you could!)_**

**"_YAY!" Hunny said._**

**"_Shouldn't you have already known?" Rachel asked._**

**"_I did, but it's just so exciting!" Hunny rejoiced._**

_"Have you thought of names yet?" Tamaki asked, poking at Evelyn's stomach._

_"If it is a girl, we will name her Hinata." Evelyn said, hitting Tamaki's hand away._

_"And if it is a boy, he will be Alex Lois Armstrong!" He recently started reading the fma manga. _

_"What stupid names! They should be _______ and _______!" Rachel spent an hour telling them the advantage of this names, and by the end, they were convinced. _

_"Guess what! Taylor is coming back from her surgery." Tamaki presented both Mori and Taylor. _

_"Lets see how well the correction surgery worked!" Tamaki put a glass of wine in front of Taylor. _

_"I don't drink." Taylor put her hand up and inched away from the glass. "I don't know why I ever drank that putrid stuff. It smell so bitter." Everyone eyed Taylor in disbelief. Even Mori was wide eyed. It wasn't suppose to get her off of alcohol forever, just enough not to embarrass him in front of other people. _

_"Are you ok. I thought the surgery was to make it so she wasn't a drunk." Rachel said._

_"Not make it so she hated drinking." Evelyn ended._

_"No! My drinking buddy!" Sarah yelled. She ran over to Mori and started beating his chest._

_"You monster, what have you done to my drinking buddy?" Sarah sobbed. "She was the only one who could get wasted and still drive like she was sober." Larry pulled Sarah off of Mori and tried to soothe her. _

_"Honey, now you'll just have to get drunk at home **that's all!"**_

**"_Or," said Hikaru, "We can just bring her every time anyone goes out drinking and she'll be the automatic designated driver! It's perfect! She'll always be sober, and we'll all be able to get wasted!"_**

_**They all agreed that this was a marvelous plan, so that's what happened.**_

_**Every Monday it was guy's night out, so they would make Taylor sit in a corner playing a handheld while they all bitched about their lives and toasted the bachelors leading hot babes out of the bar. Then they would stagger over to her and she would drive them home.**_

_**Every Wednesday it was girl's night out, and she would drink virgin martinis and Shirley Temples and drive them home when they were all good and gone.**_

_**And on Friday everyone went to the bar and got so wasted they couldn't even stagger to the car, so she would haul all of them into a big pile in her pickup and plop them home.**_

_**By the end of the week she had contracted a hellish migraine and couldn't get out of bed for days.**_

**"_This is all Hikaru's fault." said Mori. "I'm sorry baby, I promise next time we go out I'll stay sober with you and do all the heavy lifting. In fact, we'll make a schedule! 1 person each time has a three drink maximum so they can help you with the others! I'll take the first ten shifts!" he kissed her good and long and then he nursed her back to the peak of health._**

_Although Mori loved not having to deal with the humiliation of Taylor's drunken actions, he did miss just having some wine with her. When she said she didn't drink, she meant it. In fact, when she did drink he could get anything he wanted from her. She was so readable when she was drunk it was easy to find out if she was lying or she would just tell him what was going on. _

_Now that she wasn't getting drunk, she didn't tell him anything. If she committed murder at this point he would never know. He did miss the old Taylor. He needed to get the old Taylor back, or at least one who would take a sip of wine. _

"_Taylor." Mori called. All he needed to do is get her to take a small taste alcohol. She would be hooked after words. _

"_What do you need hun?" _

"_Come over, I want you to try something. It is a drink I made for you." He handed her the glass, but she wouldn't take it._

"_Aw. Sorry hun, but I don't drink." She patted him on the head and went back to the kitchen. She had started this odd habit of cooking after she stopped drinking. In fact, all those evil kinks she had, left ever since the operation. They were all replaced by good, nice habits and to be honest, Mori started to hate it. She was becoming very boring. He went to the last resort. He spiked some strong smelling tea. _

"_Taylor, the tea is ready." He poured the tea into the cups and handed one to Taylor. She took one drink and spit it out the next second._

"_You laced it with alcohol." He was expecting her to get very angry. In fact he was hoping for that. He needed some kind of excitement. Mori looked up at his wife who was giggling. She came over a lightly touched his shoulder. _

"_Your so cute. Look, whatever you need to talk about, just say. I promise I won't be mad." She looked at him with an angelic smile. "You don't need to get me drunk, just say it." Mori banged his head against the table and went to bed. Tomorrow they were going to the doctor, and he prayed that the doctor could fix this problem._

_The next day he took Taylor to the hospital, and to his horror she did indeed change drastically. She came to the hospital wearing a house wife's dress, and her hair was in a neat bun. Her checks were rosy, and she was wearing make up. This problem needed to be fixed._

"_Morinozuka, Taylor." Mori had Taylor wait in the lobby while he went to the doctor's office. _

"_Is there anyway to reveres what you did to my wife?"_

"_No. How do you reveres pain killers?" _

"_You gave my wife surgery."_

"_No, we gave her pain killers. She canceled the surgery and just asked for some painkillers. She muttered something about having a long week or so ahead of her."_

**"_What? So all I have to do is take her off the pills and she'll be back to the woman I love?"_**

**"_Well, taking her off all at once will make her crash painfully, so maybe slowly reducing her prescription would be better." the doctor said kindly._**

**"_Really?"_**

**"_However, she would probably be back to her old alcoholic self. I suggest perhaps AA meetings?"_**

**"_I can do that!" Mori went over and took Taylor's hand. "Come back to me baby!"_**

_**Taylor caressed his cheek. "I'm right here sweetie, it'll all be okay." she said warmly, which made Mori want to cry.**_

_**The doctor came over to talk to her. "We're going to lower your dosage Mrs. Morinozuka."**_

**"_NO!" the emphasis she put in this surprised both Mori and the doctor. "I can't get off it, I need.." tears started sliding down her cheeks. "I have to do this for Takashi, I don't want to cause him pain anymore."_**

**"_Stop it!" Mori shouted at her. "It's painful to watch! I just want you back! Your happy, angry, loving self who tells me when I'm being an ass, and drinks everyone else under the table!"_**

_"Good, because I am sick and tired of this." Taylor ripped off her bun and wiped off the make up. "Hun, give me your shirt." Mori gave his shirt to her and Taylor went to the bathroom. She came back out with his shirt on and baggy pants. "Lets go, I want some beer now. I haven't had any since the 'operation'."_

_"What is going on?!" Mori yelled._

_"Well I always tell you I can control myself, I just choose not to. The whole house wife thing was just to prove my point that, your idea of a wife was bland."_

_"The painkillers?"_

_"How else was I going to keep from killing everyone. I knew I would be pinned as the designated driver. Between Hikaru and Kaoru, I needed something."_

_**Mori gave a relieved laugh and offered her his arm. She pushed it away and took his hand. They went home, and Taylor had two beers, Mori offered her a third, but she declined. "No more heavy drinking for me."**_

_**Out of the blue, a loud stereo played "Love game" by Lady Gaga. "What?"**_

**"_This calls for some heavy kissin'!" Lady Gaga proclaimed._**

_**Mori nodded his head in agreement.**_

_**Taylor only had time to put a scrawled 'Do not Disturb' sign on the door.**_

_**Over with Evelyn and Hunny…**_

_"What should we do now?" Evelyn asked. Hunny and her laid on the coach, bedridden with boredom._

_"Don't know. Authors, come up with a plot!" Hunny yelled._

_"I'm trying!" Author two yelled back. _

_"What ever." Hunny yelled. _

**"_How about we vacation!" Evelyn suggested._**

**"_Yes! Where?"_**

**"_Umm… How about… Paris!"_**

**"_We were just there three months ago."_**

**"_London?"_**

**"_Nah.."_**

**"_Tokyo?"_**

**"_We live there!"_**

**"_We moved to Des Moines!"_**

**"_We live in both houses when it suits our fancy!"_**

**"_Well, how about Venice?"_**

**"_YES!"_**

**"_Okay! Haninozukas off to Venice!" Hunny crowed._**

_**They got on a plane the very next day.**_

_**By the time they got to the city it was midnight. **_

_"What hotel are we staying at?" Evelyn asked._

_"The Venice Paradise."_

_"You heard the man, take us there driver." _

_"Yes um." So they were driven to the hotel. It had a giant pool in the back, so Evelyn and Hunny took a midnight dip. Before no time at all the two were in the pool. Hunny with his big tube floaty and pink bunny trunks. Evelyn wore the swimsuit Rachel bought for Taylor some stories ago. _

_"I don't see why Taylor doesn't wear that bathing suit, it looks nice." said Hunny._

_"I know. It is so comfy too." Evelyn entered the pool slowly finding it to be slightly cold. Not unbearable though. Hunny jumped in the middle of the pool splashing Evelyn._

_"Careful. It is still cold."_

_"Sorry!" Hunny put on his infamous Lolita smile, and Evelyn caved in instantly. How could anyone be angry at that face? She gave him a big hug, then dunked him. She swam away as fast as she could as Hunny chased her._

_"Stop, stop!" Evelyn laughed._

_"Stand still, I'm not going to hurt you!" Hunny chased after her._

_"Hey, shut up we are trying to sleep here!" Off from the balcony, a young man screamed at them. He took a closer look and realized something. _

_"You, girl, your Evelyn Feldman, right?"_

_"Yes, and you are?" _

_"Your brother Ron. What are you two doing in the pool at midnight?"_

**"_Stuff my brother has no business seeing!" Evelyn teased. _**

**"_Really?" asked Hunny. _**

**"_Then I'm definitely coming down!" Ron said. They all spent the rest of the night swimming and slept the whole next day._**

_**Back home Tamaki was freaking out.**_

**"_Somebody's kidnapped Hunny and Evelyn!" he shouted in the phone at Mori. _**

**"_I doubt it." said Rachel behind him._**

**"_Oh my GOD!" said Mori, freaking out as well._**

_**Rachel took the phone from Tamaki.**_

**"_He didn't even call them." she told Mori. "I'll do it then call you back."_**

**"_Okay." said Mori weakly._**

_**She dialed Evelyn's phone, Evelyn and Hunny were sleeping. Evelyn finally woke up at the fifth ring. "Helloooo *yawn*"**_

**"_Evelyn? It's Rachel. My husband is freaking out because he couldn't reach Hunny. Where are you guys?"_**

**"_In Venice with Ronnie."_**

**"_You went to Italy with your brother?"_**

**"_No, we came across him here, and spent all night swimming in the hotel pool with him. I'm going back to bed now." 'CLICK'_**

_Rachel informed both Tamaki and Mori, but Tamaki wasn't satisfied. He was worried that someone was going to get hurt. It was a bad feeling, and it was slowly eating at him. Five minutes later Tamaki was on a plane to Venice, leaving Rachel behind. That was when Rachel had a grand idea. She called Tamaki's phone and this is what she told him,_

"_Tamaki, the fact is Evelyn hates being away from home. She just goes on these trips to make Hunny happy. While you are over there you should make up some wild excuse to get her back her and spend time with Hunny yourself."_

"_Your right, I shall do it when I get to the hotel!"_

"_Good, love ya, bye." She dialed again._

"_Larry, the boys are in Venice, get Lucas and head over there. Apparently there is some kind of boys club going on there or something like that."_

"_Um, ok."_

"_Get Micah too, while your at it."_

"_Right I will get right on it." She dialed again, and again, until all the husbands of the story were on there way to Venice. _

_In Venice _

"_This a great vacation! We should come here more often." Said Ron._

"_Yeah, the food here is amazing!" Evelyn said with a mouth full of food. The three walked down the road when the wind started to pick up behind them. Then a loud noise came, and over that copter noise was Tamaki's screams. He yelled "Catch." Evelyn caught a small walky-talky._

"_Evelyn, Taylor is sick and Mori took a plane here not too long ago. You need to help her! If Mori finds out, his vacation will be ruined."_

"_Don't be stupid Tamaki. Taylor can take care of herself"_

"_She is lying on the floor miserable! She can barely move!" _

"_Then take her to the hospital!"_

"_She won't go without you!"_

"_Then she isn't hurting that badly." That was when Tamaki ordered his servants to kidnap Evelyn and put her in the plane. He then came down and scouted for a hotel to stay at. _

"_Why did you do that Tamaki?! We were having a great vacation!" Hunny yelled. Tamaki then wondered himself._

"_To be honest I do not know. I was ordered to by Rachel, and I couldn't say no." Tamaki smiled sheepishly at Hunny and Ron._

"_Isn't it obvious? She is collecting all the girls to have a girls only party, and she is getting rid of all the men. She will probably send them all here." Ron said like it was so obvious._

_**But what Rachel was really planning was much more sinister.**_

_**She gathered together all the girls, and Chris, and took them all over to North Korea.**_

**"_Nobody's allowed to even make contact here. We'll be completely private, Jadon what the hell are you doing here?"_**

_**Chris looked sheepish. "I didn't want to be the only one left at home."**_

**"_Whatever, you were always my favorite out of you and Ronnie."_**

**"_Cool!"_**

**"_Anyways, we women, and Jadon, are all going to be plotting world domination for WOMEN!"_**

_**All the wives clapped, except for Taylor who was confused.**_

**"_Instead of the world being man-based it'll be the exact opposite! No more being ashamed of having female genitals! No more guys "Doing anything in a skirt" no more woman in higher positions than men getting a lower wage!"_**

**"_Yeah!" everyone shouted (Even Chris who had no idea what was going on)_**

**"_And we are going to do it all from here! The beautiful country of North Korea!"_**

_**A crowd of people outside shouted their approval. "Now, we are all going to meet up with the head of the country, who is my great friend, and shoot a mega-laser from space that has an invisibility shield around it that makes it undetectable! WOMEN'S RIGHTS!"**_

_**The whole place exploded in a sea of applause.**_

_**Rachel was swept up in a sea of adoring arms, and Evelyn was left wondering how she had hypnotized whoever her friend was into an extreme feminist.**_

_The idea scared Taylor more than anything in the world. The feminine world would make us wear skirts, dresses. She didn't want to get in touch with her feminine side. Polite, tea time, pink, no alcohol. Real girls don't drink like men. A world ruled by feministic people was Taylor's personal Hell. She ran and high jacked a helicopter and started flying to Venice. She had to warn the others! _

_5hrs Later_

"_Takashi!" Taylor ran into her husband in tears. _

"_I thought she was sick." That was when the rest of the boys heard her sobs._

"_Shh. What's wrong?" Mori rubbed her back trying to decipher what she was saying, but she was too worked up to make any sense. The boys took her to the hotel to find out what was going on. When she finally calmed down enough to talk she told them Rachel's evil plot. _

"_No! Rachel is powerful enough to do that with the help of our rich wives!" The twins said in horror._

"_Hold on, your a girl, why would you tell us this?!" Tamaki pointed at Taylor accusingly. "I know my wife, she wouldn't make such a stupid mistake of telling you if you were going to turn agents her!" Apparently Tamaki didn't know Taylor very well._

**"_Rachel doesn't know me that well. I just, it seemed such a scary idea!"_**

**_Just then Rachel raced into the tent and hit Taylor. "You idiot! That's not at all what feminism is about! That is exactly the kind of thinking we are trying to get rid of! Feminism is about equality between men and woman, not making the whole world 19__th__ century feminine! I can't believe how stereo typical your thinking is. You don't deserve to be called my friend. And the plan is already set in motion! There's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Changes planned to go in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, NOW!"_**

_**Nothing seemed to have happened.**_

**"_See, not so bad is it?" Rachel said with a smirk._**

**"_Rachel, what happened?" Tamaki asked._**

**"_Now all people are equal, united! Everything is going to be great!"_**

**"_Rachel," Taylor said, "What happened to your shirt?"_**

_**A second ago it had been pink, now it was a murky pale red.**_

**"_WHAT?"_**

_**She grabbed a laptop and looked up "THERE'S NOTHING THERE! But… Lolita is for boys and girls!"**_

**"_With complete equality, everything is the same. So how does the whole marriage thing work? Are we all supposed to be husbands or all wives?"_**

**"_Here's another confused individual!" said a news reporter._**

**"_The whole termanage has changed! The correct term is Wusbave."_**

_**Rachel was shocked. "We have to reverse it right away! Complete equality sucks!"**_

**"_Yes." agreed Taylor and everyone else in the room._**

_"So how do we reveres this?" Tamaki asked. "The whole universe is now screwy. We need to have a competition. Boys verses girls. Winner rules the new world!" _

_"We need team captains to decide how a girls or boys world is ruled." Added Hikaru. "I vote Kaoru for team leader!"_

_"If I am leader, the world will be exactly the way it used to be!" The boys clapped and agreed for Kaoru as team caption._

_"I vote Kennedy the elf! She is cool!" Most all of the girls agreed without her making a speech._

_"I am with the boys!" Taylor announced. "The world was fine before, we need no more tampering!" _

_"You can't, your a woman, not a male!" The twins denied. Mori gave them a murderous look, and they withdrew their complaints._

**"_No!" said Rachel. "I'll simply press the reverse button."_**

**"_Oh, why didn't you say there was a reverse button before?"_**

**"_And besides, it's not a woman-run world at all, it's just all the same. So I'll reverse it and have it back to the way it was and we can fight for women's rights the old fashioned way!"_**

_**She pulled out a gun,.**_

**"_Just kidding!" she said putting it away._**

**"_We'll just protest and bitch on online forums!"_**

**"_Yay!" everyone said._**

_Without warning, 5 months passed._

_Evelyn had a huge stomach, it was obvious she was pregnant. Lucky for Hunny, Evelyn had a lot of patience and self-control, so the pregnancy wasn't hell for him. Taylor and Mori visited them every day, and each day he looked longingly at Evelyn's baby filled belly. He would look back at Taylor and see her flat stomach, imaging it bigger. He wanted a kid, but doubted Taylor would like the idea. Mori left to the kitchen while Evelyn and Taylor talked about the old days._

_"Takashi, are you ok." Hunny asked. Mori shook his head._

_"I want a kid of my own." _

_"So why don't you and Taylor have one? She seems motherly enough."_

_"I don't think she would like having a kid. She likes her freedom too much."_

_"Butter her up, and get her drunk."_

_"Hm. I still don't think she would agree. Her first reaction would be no."_

_"Have you asked her?" _

_"No."_

_"Then how do you know? It is one of the few things you want, you should get it."_

_"Your right!" Mori left the kitchen to take his wife home and ask. On his way out Hunny added,_

_"If all else fails, you could have an 'accident'." Mori flushed red and walked out fast._

_"Taylor, lets go home."_

_"Kay, see you later Evelyn, Hunny." _

_"Bye." The couple went back to their house and into their own kitchen. _

_"Taylor, can I ask you something?"_

_"Of course." Mori took a deep breath, this gave Taylor a sinking feeling. "Relax, just say it."_

_"I want a baby."_

_"I think not." Taylor got up. "Gladwehadthistalkbye!" She said quickly and started to leave. Mori grabbed her arm before she left. _

_"Why not?"_

_"I don't want to give birth. How about we adopt?" _

_"Don't you want to bear my child?"_

_"I rather adopt a 10yr old or older. I don't want to have a baby."_

_"Who will carry the family name?"_

_"Your brother."_

_"Please!" Mori begged, giving her the best begging eyes he could produce. 'Don't look, don't look.' Taylor told herself. Even so she looked. It didn't change her mind. They fought about it all night, and at the end Taylor locked herself in the bedroom, and locked Mori out of the house._

_**She called up Evelyn and told her what had happened. **_

**"_WAGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" was Evelyn's reply._**

**"_Come on Taylor, after the first month of being overprotective and sleeping less than an hour each night it'll slowly but steadily get better!" Evelyn said cheerfully. "And I wouldn't be at all sorry for you, because I'll have already gone through it!"_**

**"_Evelyn, you are soooo unhelpful."_**

**"_Okay, then I'll give you some advice. How about you don't try, just stop trying not to and see what happens. I think it'll definitely help. Because if you keep on saying no, your marriage will take a turn for the worst. Especially since Mori really wants to have a child."_**

**"_THAT'S NOT AT ALL WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR!" Taylor shouted._**

**"_Well, that's all I got. It's your fault for writing in Mori's desire."_**

**"_DON'T TELL ME THAT! I'm already sick! I feel fine, then I get sick eating the most normal things, and I feel like I'm PMSing, but I still haven't had my period, and I keep on exploding at everyone, and I don't need you telling me to JUST GIVE IN!"_**

**"_Um, Taylor? I think… I'll be over in just a second. I need to bring you something."_**

**"_FINE! WHATEVER! I'll just be over crying my eyes out devouring all the sugar I have in the house!"_**

_**About half an hour later Evelyn arrived with a little brown paper bag.**_

**"_What is it?" Taylor asked, excited that she was getting a present._**

**"_It's a pregnancy test."_**

**"_WHAT?"_**

**"_Taylor, you have all the signs. Just humor me, and I let Mori in, I hope you don't mind."_**

**"_FINE! I'll go pee on the f***ing stick!" she grabbed it and went into the bathroom. She wasn't out for ten minutes._**

_**Evelyn was almost positive at this point, Taylor never cussed.**_

**"_Get another one, this one's broken." she said._**

**"_It is not. It's the best one they have. The only better way is going to the doctor."_**

**"_THEN TAKE ME THERE BECAUSE THIS IS WRONG!" Taylor shrieked._**

_**Evelyn drove her to the clinic and got her in.**_

**"_Congratulations!" the doctor said. "You're going to have a baby like your friend here!"_**

**"_Congratulations?! THIS IS HORRIBLE!"_**

**"_It's a good thing you don't believe in abortion." Evelyn said with an evil grin."I'm not so sure now…" Taylor said._**

**"_I'm going to tell Mori right now if you even think about it. That way he'll know if you do it."_**

**"_I was just kidding… haha…" Taylor started weeping as if her mother had died in front of her eyes._**

**"_It's not all that bad!" Evelyn said._**

**"_It's okay for you because you wanted a baby! I DON'T!"_**

**"_If you ever tell your child that I will personally murder you." Evelyn told her._**

_**Taylor went home forlorn to tell Mori the news. **_

_"Mori, you win! I lose by default." Taylor called. She walked down the hall to find her bedroom lit by candle lights. There was some wine on the table by the bed. She turned the light on and blew out the candles. Sitting on her bed she poured the wine into its bottle. Mori came into the room shirtless, surprised to see Taylor there. He came over to kiss her, but she shoved him away._

_"Cut it out, you already knocked me up." She lied down and pulled the covers over her head._

_"Thanks." He was going to rub her back when she said,_

_"Touch me and die! When the nausea stops, I am going to give you Hell!" Mori retraced his hand and smiled. As serious as she was, he couldn't help but smile. He was going to be a father. He just realized he better start fantasying about a different boys name. It would seem like he named his kid after a cat otherwise. The two had a silent night._

_Two months later Evelyn was **doing laundry when she went into labor. "HUNNY!" Evelyn screamed. "Grab the bag and then grab me!" Hunny had her at the hospital in record time.**_

**"_Now what?" he asked when she was settled in the maternity section. "Now we wait!" Evelyn said cheerfully. "How about you go get some food? I'm starving!"_**

_**Hunny went to grab some dinner.**_

_**Evelyn called her mom, dad, and five siblings, who called the rest of the family, then she called Rachel, Sarah, Sarah, and Taylor. Then she took a nap, knowing that everybody she knew, and a few she didn't, would know what was happening in a matter of seconds.**_

_**Her mother and sisters came in after about an hour.**_

**"_How're you doing sweetie?" her mom asked._**

**"_I'm fine mom. Will you stay with me though?"_**

**"_Of course honey! And I'll kick the doctor's ass if they try any funny stuff!"_**

**"_Thanks mom."_**

_**Taylor, Sarahs, and Rachel came in a few seconds later.**_

**"_Wow Taylor! You already look like a hippo and it's only been like two months!" Evelyn joked._**

**"_Haha. Well, you look like hell."_**

**"_Elizabeth! I haven't seen you in forever! How are you doing? Still with Dan?" Elizabeth looked shocked. "You were at our wedding. You were a bridesmaid!"_**

**"_I know! Just kidding." Evelyn said._**

**"_I really haven't seen you for forever Emilee! How are you?"_**

**"_I'm going to college in Minnesota to be a chef." Emilee said._**

**"_Cool!"_**

**"_I'm going to college in Japan!" Elisa put in._**

**"_Shouldn't both of you be out of college by now?"_**

_**Emilee was 27 and Elisa was 25.**_

**"_I'm going to get my master's degree in business and start an international company!"_**

_**Elisa said happily.**_

_**Just then Hunny came in with dinner.**_

_**It was a simple Chinese dinner that the family split. After they were in the middle of dinner talking the door opened, and in came Mori, Rachel, and Sarah. The left to eat.**_

_"Taylor left. She, like the rest of our husbands, didn't want to see the miracle of birth." Sarah said, bring in cake for after the birth._

_"She still isn't used to the pregnancy idea Takashi?" Mori shook his head at Hunny. She told him she was going to give him Hell, but he never realized how determined she really was. _

_"Anything happen while we were gone?" Rachel asked poking Evelyn's stomach._

_"Nope, just eating." Evelyn took a bite of egg-roll and spit it out. "Ow, ow owowowoow!" She yelled. "Hunny get the doctor NOW!" Hunny ran out the door and Evelyn went through the long process of birth. When the labor part began, Mori and Sarah ran out and waited outside. When the yelling and tight hand holding started, Rachel joined them. Hunny would have left too, but his hand was being crushed by Evelyn's, so he stayed put._

_**When it was all good and done, Evelyn had a baby girl she named, Elizabeth Janae Haninozuka. **_

_**At first Evelyn wouldn't let anyone but Hunny and her mom hold her, but finally she passed her gently over to Rachel. "Oh! She's adorable!" said Rachel.**_

_**She passed Elizabeth to Sarah, and her to Sarah, and her to Elisa, and her to Elizabeth, and her to Emilee, and her to Evelyn's dad, and him to Mori, and him to Taylor who had come back in.**_

_**Taylor put her arms around the baby like Evelyn told her to and looked into Elizabeth's big brown eyes. She didn't look away for a long time, and when she did she had tears in her eyes. She passed the baby back to Evelyn and put her arms around Mori, burying her face in his chest. Mori rubbed her back and kissed the back of her head.**_

_**Two days later Evelyn and Hunny went home as happy parents with a little baby car-seat in between them.**_

_**Since learning that she was pregnant Evelyn had been working on a nursery in her home. It had lavender and periwinkle walls, light purple curtains, and blue plush carpeting. The crib was shipped from Italy with a matching wardrobe and changing table. The wardrobe was stocked with the most adorable outfits and the lighting was soft.**_

_**Of course, the baby had to sleep in Evelyn and Hunny's room in a bassinette for a while.**_

_**Evelyn woke up five times a night to feed the hungry baby, and eventually Hunny started sleeping in the room next door to the bedroom.**_

_**Evelyn started to look like a zombie, pale with the darkest circles a person can get, that makes you know they're a new mother.**_

**_And Hunny looked almost the same, fretting every time the baby woke up and constantly asking if there was anything_ he could do.**

**But that's just normal parent-stuff. Over with Taylor and Mori…**

_"Why don't we brain storm names." Taylor was sitting on the coach bored out of her mind. You had a lot of restrictions when you are pregnant. You had to watch what you eat, what you drink, what you do, and all that crap. If you were stupid enough to listen to those no life baby people, you also had to listen and watch boring things to make your baby smarter. It had been a month and a half, thanks to Mori, since Taylor's last beer, Hershey, ice cream, and bar visit. She couldn't drink beer, and that was bad enough, but she couldn't visit the bar ether. It was bad for the baby._

_"Sure. How about David for a boy?" Mori offered. He assumed they would be in America for a long time, so there son's name should be American._

_"Sure, why not. How about Raven for a girl?"_

_"Alright. For a middle name, how about Kakashi? That way the kid could keep a little of his Japanese heritage."_

_"With the last name Morinozuka, I think it's Japanese heritage should be the least of your worries."_

_"Right."_

_"In any case, for a boy I am fine with that. For a girl, it should be Lee, like my father and I." Mori nodded in agreement. Outside the window of the living room they were being watched, and that stalker revealed herself._

_"Come on, there is so little DRAMA! No fights over the name or nothen! You just agree! Do you even care?" It was Rachel of course. _

_"Yes." Mori answered. Taylor simple ignored her and left to watch TV, or so Mori thought. In reality, she left for the bar. Rachel was doing a good job keeping Mori busy, and for 10$ an hour, he better be busy for awhile. _

_All day and most of the night, Rachel blabbed on about Mori having no backbone, how couples should fight, how Taylor isn't excited enough, etc. etc. etc…._

**At the end of six hours Mori wanted to escape so bad he went to the bathroom and jumped out of the window, falling two stories and landing on his feet. (He was a martial artist after all), and he left for the bar.**

**Rachel didn't know this of course, she just thought he was going number 2.**

**Mori found Taylor at the bar sipping a virgin martini and bopping her head to the music.**

**"Shit!" she said when she saw Mori. "What are you doing here?"**

**"Getting away from Rachel. What are you doing here?"**

**"Getting away from the house!"**

**Mori sighed.**

**"I understand that it's pretty boring at the house, but the loud music here is not going to help the baby! What if it come out with Down's Syndrome and it's all your fault?"**

**Taylor nodded and paid her tab.**

**Mori dropped her off at Evelyn's for company and went back to the bar to drown the Rachel he had experienced in alcohol.**

**When Taylor came into the house Evelyn handed her a container of Soy Joy ice cream and a large spoon. "I can't eat real cream since I was pregnant, so this is all I got. I thought you would need some sugar, living with the ever-careful Mori and all."**

**Taylor ripped the lid off and spooned a large amount of soy cream into her mouth.**

**"Mmmmmmm" she moaned, licking a drip off her lip.**

**"I'll have to tell Mori that sugar isn't bad for the baby, it's necessary for your sanity. Just avoid caffeine and alcohol. Here," she handed Taylor a bag of potato chips.**

**Taylor spent the next couple hours being told by Evelyn what food she could and couldn't eat and Evelyn gave her a list to give to Mori so he would stop obsessing.**

**"And you can stop with the listening and watching, but it does help brain development if you play classical music in it's room when it's _out_ while it's sleeping." she handed Taylor a Baby Einstein DVD. "And you can sit them in a swing and turn this on while you cook dinner or get a drink." she said. "The colors keep their attention and the music is educational and whatnot."**

**Taylor went home happier than she had been in a while and had a big steak for dinner. **

**"WHAT?!" Rachel raged as Tamaki backed away. "What did you just say?"**

**"Baby, I said I wanted to have lasagna for dinner." Tamaki said.**

**"Am I the cook? Am I a maid? Go get a frozen one from the grocery store and cook it yourself!"**

**"Of course, sure, but you asked what I wanted…" Tamaki mumbled. He was used to Rachel's mood swings and new it was no use asking her to be nice. She would apologize and be nicer when she felt like it.**

**Rachel grabbed her purse and a handful of credit cards and called up Evelyn.**

**"It's been years since we did something alone together. Make Hunny baby-sit and grab your coat," she said.**

**"Elizabeth is nursing." Evelyn said.**

**"Then pump and come on!" Rachel said.**

**"I'll grab some coffee to buy some time! Do you want anything from Starbucks?"**

**"Can you get me a frozen chai?" Evelyn asked.**

**"Sure. Be over in 20."**

**"Okay."**

**"Tamaki! I'm going out with Evelyn. I'll be back in a couple hours!"**

**"Okay honey."**

**Rachel ran over to him and gave him a kiss. "I love you! I'm sorry for bitching!"**

**Tamaki smiled. "I love you too."**

**Evelyn had just put Elizabeth down for a nap, so she grabbed Hunny and told him she was going out.**

**"There's baby milk in the freezer. Don't microwave it! Put it in a bowl and run hot water over it until it's warm!"**

**"Okay."**

**"And make sure to check her diaper when she wakes up."**

**"I know.""And make sure she eats once every other hour."**

**"Evelyn, I know."**

**"And, I don't know when we'll be back, so call me if you need anything!"**

**"Evelyn, just go. We'll be fine."**

**Outside Rachel honked.**

**"By hon!"**

**She pecked Hunny on the cheek and ran out the the car Rachel beamed at Evelyn. "It's so great to be going out alone."**

**"God, I know." Evelyn said.**

**They went all over, shopping at malls and eating dinner at a nice restaurant. Then they went and saw a movie, then went out for 10:00 coffee.**

**It was the most fun Evelyn had had in a long time.**

**When they each got back home they were exhausted but very happy.**

_When Mori returned home he was so drunk he could barley stand. Lucky for him, Kaoru stayed sober after Taylor left, otherwise driving could have been a huge problem. Taylor was watching It when Mori came in, and the TV was blasted so she didn't hear him. It was the end of the movie and Taylor left for bed. It was dark in the hall she walked down, when she heard footsteps._

_"Hey, who's there?" She had no idea who it could be. The servants left awhile ago, it could be Mori, but he never snuck up on her. In the end, Taylor decided it was a burglar. She walked a couple more feet and felt for her bamboo sword inside her room by the door. She walked in slowly and hid behind the door waiting for the burglar. When he came in she took a swing, and aimed for his head. She heard a groin and turned on the light._

_"Crap…" Sadly, it wasn't a burglar, or a murderer, it was a good friend. "Mori is going to hate me for this." Poking the young man she found he went unconscious from the pain. She took the man and put him in her trunk. She drove to Evelyn's and put the body in her bed, hoping that no one would find out. 'Maybe he would think it was a bad dream.' Taylor hoped. She walked out of the house and went to her own. She crawled into her bed with no more mishaps and lied next to her healthy, drunk husband._

_Take a good guess who got hit. Teehee._

**Well, of course it was Hunny. How Taylor was able to get a hit on him, well I guess we may never know.**

**Anyways, the next morning Hunny called Mori with some very disturbing news.**

**"I was at your house last night, I came in to get something I left last time I was over, and I was walking down the hallway when somebody wacked me over the head! I woke up this morning in my bed without the item I came to retrieve and a big bump on my head! I think somebody was in your house last night!"**

**Mori was very disturbed by this, wonder how his poor pregnant wife had survived an attacker and calling himself ten kinds of idiot for getting so drunk.**

**He decided not to tell Taylor, not wanting to worry her, and put new dead bolts on all the doors, switching Taylor's keys for new ones.**

**He waited on her all day long, apologizing for leaving her, and for not letting her eat anything but raw vegetables and water for so long.**

**Taylor couldn't guess why he was acting like this, and figured it was just new father jitters or something.**

**"Takashi! The ultrasound is today!" she announced. "We'll know whether it's a boy or a girl!"**

**Mori was overjoyed. They left excited.**

**Five hours later Taylor called Evelyn.**

**"Evelyn! Guess what?!""What?"**

**"I'm pregnant with twins! A boy and a girl!"**

**"WHAT?!"**

**"I'm not kidding! Isn't it amazing!"**

**"What are you going to name them? They should be names that go good together, like Nicholas and Natalie!"**

**"We're still going to name them David and Raven."**

**"Cool! What will their middle names be?"**

**"Well, one of them will be Lee…"**

**"They should be David Lee and Raven Belle."**

**"Maybe… OH MY GOD!"**

**The phone line went dead.**

**"Taylor? Taylor?! This isn't funny. TAYLOR?!!?!"**

**The other end started beeping.**

**Evelyn called back five times and nobody answered.**

**She then called Mori's cell.**

**"Mori?"**

**"Who is this?"**

**"Evelyn! I was just on the phone with Taylor, and then she screamed and the line went dead, and she won't pick up, and I think something awful has happened!"**

**"Goodbye." Mori said abruptly and hung up.**

**Taylor spun around and had a hand put over her mouth. "Don't say anything or you and your baby die." a harsh female voice said.**

**Taylor kicked them in the stomach and tried to squirm out of their grip, but being pregnant she wasn't strong enough.**

**The person slapped her face, hard.**

**Taylor felt dizzy.**

**"I'll give you one minute to tell me where your money and valuables are, or you die."**

**"At.. At the bank. I don't wear jewelry."**

**The person slapped her again. "LIAR! Every rich wife wears jewelry!"**

**Taylor could feel herself sinking, then everything blacked out.**

**Mori ran into the house, fearing the worst.**

**He found a woman in her twenties and a teenage boy picking his unconscious wife's pockets.**

**Taylor was on the floor, she looked dead. Bruises covered her face, and a cut on her forehead was bleeding into her eyes.**

**Mori went crazy.**

_Mori spent only minutes beating up the intruders. He threw them into the closet and picked Taylor up carefully, as if she was a glass doll. He ran into the car and called the police then informed the hospital he was coming. Driving like a mad man, he passed lights, ran way over the speed limit and swerved around traffic. When he got to the hospital Taylor was taken into the emergency room. Using this spare time, he called the Haninozuka's and Kyouya. He told both groups what happened and tried to get the best doctors he could get. Only a few minutes passed when the doctors came back to Mori. By this time Hunny and Evelyn were both there to comfort Mori._

_"You have nothing to worry about, it is just a few minor scratches and burses. The baby will be fine as well. You have nothing to worry about." While the doctor talked about the small cost, Taylor came out of her room._

_"Yo, Hun!" She called. "You beat up those no good bastards?" He ran over to Taylor and gave her a hug. _

_"Yeah." He replied softly, pulling her closer. _

_"Good, lets go home, this place smells like rehab, and disinfectant." She lead him out and went to the drivers seat._

_"I'll drive." Mori pulled her away from the seat._

_"You should just relax and sit down." He motioned her to the passengers seat._

_"I am fine. It's a few small scratches. Nothing a band-ad or two won't heal." Mori sighed and forced his wife into the passengers seat and went to his._

_"Come on, please!" She pleaded. Mori gave her a concerned look, and she left it alone. _

_"If something is wrong, you shouldn't hide it from me."_

_"Alright. Thing is I don't hurt, they gave me pain meds." They got back to there house in about 20mins to find it surrounded by cops. Taylor gave Mori a confused look. When they came to the officer to ask if the problem was resolved, a pair of cuffs went over Mori's hands._

_"Morinozuka, Takashi, you are under arrest for beating two people half to death and attempting to hide them from the police. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used agents you in the court of law."_

_"Hold it, my husband beat up two guys who beat me up!" Taylor shouted, putting herself in the officers way. "Besides, they broke into our house!" _

_"Mrs. Morinozuka, stand aside. This will be all figured out downtown." Taylor came closer to the officer and poked him hard in the stomach._

_"You listen now, and you listen well buster! My husband did nothing wrong, he is not going to prison, he his not going down town, he is staying here, and preparing me a hot bath!" The officer was about to say something when Taylor continued. "And I dare you to do otherwise or try to talkback to me. I am a pregnant woman, who is hormonal enough to beat the living shit out of you! So I dare you to stay another damn second, because I am in the mood to hit something! Do you understand!?" She yelled. He let go of Mori and ran off, taking everyone else with him. On his way down the street he called,_

_"Wrong house, sorry for the trouble, bye!"_

**"You can't take a hot bath. It's bad for the baby." Mori said.**

**"Well then, I'll take a lukewarm bath. I just need to soak my wounds in Epsom salt."**

**Mori ran her a warm bath and washed her back for her.**

**"How the hell would the police think that you would beat up two people in our house and then hide them, and then call the police? What the bleep?" (she actually said bleep, because she's a dork).**

**"I don't know." Mori said. "But thanks for scaring the shit out of that officer. I'm glad you still have your spunk."**

**Taylor just nodded, extremely tired after her eventful day.**

**Mori wrapped her in a towel and dried her hair. She had just enough energy to slide on some pjs and lay down in bed. Mori lay down next to her and fell into a restless sleep. "How did they get in after I changed all the locks after what happened to Mitsukuni?" Mori wondered. "And what if something horrible had happened to Taylor?" The thought was too awful to bear. "At least nothing did happen." he amended and finally drifted off to sleep.**

**Song Break!**

**"I'm team captain! And I choose YOU!"**

**"I'm the other team captain and I choose you TOO!"**

**"Bobert was a boy, and Bobert was his name, everybody thought that Bobert was insane, but Bobert was just funny in the head, and the next day when they found him Bobert was dead!"**

**"Black dress, with the tights underneath, I got the breath of a last cigarette on my teeth, and she's an actress, but she aint got no need, she's got money from her parents in a trust fund back east, t,t,t, tongue's always pressed to her cheek, while my tongue is on the inside of some other girl's cheek t,tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I aint ****ing scared of him."**

_At the hospital_

_"Call again." Evelyn ordered. Hunny redialed again, but just like the other 20 tries, it was in vain. The two had been stuck at the hospital for about 5hrs. No matter who they called, they received no answer. The car that got them here broke down a mile away from the hospital, and the guy who took it away offered a ride. Trusting Mori and Taylor more, they declined expecting them to pick them up. Of course no one picked up. The same happened when they called up anyone else. No answer, at all._

_"No answer." _

_"Crap. We have to get back to Elizabeth. We can't leave her with my sister forever." Hunny agreed. There was only one thing he could think of doing, but if it weren't for his kid, he would have never done this. _

_"I know who to call." Moving away from his wife he dialed the number of his ex-girlfriend. She was a busty, pretty blonde. She was really, really, really, blonde. Which was the main reason they broke up. _

_"Hello?" She answered._

_"It is me Hunny, from high-school. I need a ride, I am at the hospital." _

_"Be there in a sec Mitsuki!" She still can't pronounce his name right._

_"Thanks."_

**She put on a wonder bra and fluffed up her blonde, blonde hair in a sexy hairstyle.**

**Then she smooshed herself into a tiny mini skirt and a shirt that would more accurately be called a skanky swimsuit top.**

**She climbed into her hot pink convertible and pulled up to the hospital. Evelyn and Hunny came out of the hospital together. When they got close she fluttered her eyelashes and asked Hunny flirtatiously, "Who's your friend?"**

**"This is my wife Evelyn." Hunny said.**

**"Hello." Evelyn said, eyeing the girl's exposed cleavage disapprovingly.**

**"Thank you so much for giving us a ride! My sister has been babysitting for hours and she'll be worried."**

**"Babysitting? You mean you have a kid?"**

**"Yes, a beautiful baby girl. She's a month old, so you understand why we were so desperate to get Evelyn back to her." Hunny said like a proud parent.**

**The girl looked outraged, but she said in a syrupy sweet voice. "I'm so glad you thought to call me up. Where do you live now? I would've thought you would want to stay in Japan." she said to Hunny.**

**"No, we moved here to be closer to family and friends. Takashi moved here as well."**

**'Well, at least I have him to fall back on.' the girl thought.**

**"His wife is pregnant with their first child. We came here because she got hurt, but then they left, and our car broke down." Hunny explained.**

**The girl gave him an icy look. But she drove them home, Evelyn hurried into the house to check on her baby. The girl held Hunny back.**

**"Mitsuki, why did you call me. I know it couldn't have just been for a ride." she unbuttoned his top button.**

**"Are you lonely? Are you restless with this settled life, do you want a little adventure to get rid of the tediousness?"**

**Hunny pushed her hand away. "I really just needed a ride. Thank you Tanya, and now I think I'll go inside with my family."**

**He got out and Tanya screeched out of the driveway.**

**"You'll be sorry you didn't take me up on my offer!" Tanya shouted, then sped away screaming curses.** _This is not over. She thought, driving madly down the street. I will make sure he falls for me! She ran over to her house. It was time to plot._

_"So, who exactly was that Hunny?" Evelyn put the baby down for bed and sat down on her bed._

_"An old fan-girl. She was a bit nuts over me." Hunny pretend to snore to avoid further questions. He didn't think she would mind, but he didn't want to possible create a problem if he could avoid it. Evelyn, feeling no real threat let it go and went to bed. _

_It was about 4am when Hunny woke up. He heard the front door open. Taking a couple kunai he slipped down stairs. Moving carefully to the door he found it shut, but heard scurrying in the living room. Then came on Lonely no More. Soon candle lights came on, and before Hunny knew it, he was staring at Tanya. She had a see-through robe on, with a black lace bra and underwear. She had a giant pink and white bunny cake with her._

_"Get out of my house!" Hunny demanded._

_"Aw, are you in a bad mood Hunny? Sleepy?" _

_"I love my wife, I don't want you. I will never want you over her!" He had a lot of venom in his voice. _

_"But, I think you would be much happier with me, Hunny." She came closer to Hunny, embracing him. He pushed her away, or would have if not for the loud bang. Tanya fell off of Hunny to reveal his wife with a large pair of scissors and a lamp._

_"Why don't we make sure she never comes back, kay!" Evelyn cut every piece of hair on that girls head as possible. Evelyn took the girl and threw her outside and threw her in the dumpster._

**"What the ****!" Hunny said.**

**"I am very protective of my family. Especially now that we have a child and I won't have an obsessed fan-girl or ex-girlfriend or whatever in my house at 4 in the morning waking up my baby!" she said. Then she spun around and went back to bed. When she woke up she thought it was all a dream, an idea Hunny encouraged. Of course, before he had gone to bed he had vacuumed up all the hair, driven Tanya home and put the scissors away.**

**"Good morning Hunny." Evelyn said cheerily in the morning. She was in a good mood because Elizabeth had slept all night. She was scurrying around the kitchen cooking breakfast with Elizabeth in a sling next to her chest. She opened the fridge to grab some eggs, and saw a big bunny cake with pink and white frosting on the shelf.**

**"When did you get this?" she asked, taking a finger-full and tasting the frosting. "Mmm, it's champagne cake! My favorite!"**

**"Umm… yeah! I know. The only kind of alcohol a nursing mother can consume, hehehe…" 'Whew.' Hunny thought.**

**"Well, we'll have some with breakfast."**

**They all sat down to a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, tea, and cake.**

**"What a happy family." Rachel thought as she surveyed the scene before her.**

**"Rachel! When did you get here?" Evelyn said, startled. Hunny, who had heard Rachel coming before she had even gotten to the front door gestured to a seat beside Evelyn's with a slice of cake and a cup of tea.**

**"Well, I'm sort of on a diet." Rachel said.**

**"It's champagne cake!" Evelyn said.**

**"Well, screw dieting. Besides, alcohol has no calories right?" Rachel didn't wait for an answer, she dug in.**

**"I need to talk to you Evelyn." Rachel said. "In private." Hunny nodded and picked up Elizabeth from her sling. "I'll go change her diaper." he said, cooing at her on the way out.**

**"Evelyn, I think I have cancer." Rachel said.**

**"What?! No!"**

**"I haven't gone in yet for testing, but I was taking a shower yesterday, and I was washing my chest, and I felt this weird lump… and I think I might have breast cancer."**

**"Rachel! Don't freak me out! It's not certain. I'll go with you today for testing." Evelyn said.**

**Rachel nodded and tears ran down her cheeks. Evelyn felt like crying herself. It wasn't until a tear fell from her eye that Rachel clapped her hands and laughed.**

**"God Evelyn! Why the long face? I was just kidding."**

**Evelyn slammed her hands down on the table. "That is NOT funny Rachel." Evelyn shouted. **

**Rachel giggled and took another bite of cake.**

**"What I really came over to tell you is,** _I have made friends with Lobelia. I am now going to teach, and be part of the Zuka club." She smiled happily. "Cool huh!"_

_"That's great, but what teaching experience do you have?"_

_"A five minute do it yourself, teaching addition on youtube." _

_"Right then. Have fun with that!" Rachel left to her new teaching job. She would teach the feminine side. It taught girls to be proper girls, and reject the influence of men. Many uneventful weeks passed. Rachel had spent so much time with Lobelia she became a lot like them. Even worse, she got in touch with her feminine side. Extremely so, to the point were she had to force it on others. _

_"I am just so worried girls. They spend so much time with there husbands and other boys, I fear they might have lost there feminine side completely." Rachel cried over some tea._

_"Take this sensei." One of the young girls gave Rachel a clip board with a check list. "Take them somewhere and if they show any of the signs, make a check. Bring it back and we will see if they need help."_

_"Right! We can make a class project out of it!" So the next day she took all the girls to the mall. _

_"Lets go get some clothes!" Rachel lead them into the first clothing store she could find. Evelyn looked at the clearance section of the store. That was normal according to the clip-board. Sarah looked at fashionable clothes, good. Taylor pulled out her D.S and sat in a corner. Check-mark. Next they went to the jewelry store, and the girls browsed around. Taylor looked at a couple of necklaces, good. Then she looked at the necklaces she was looking at and they all had bugs on them. A big checkmark. By the end of the trip, they all had a few checkmarks, except for Rachel of course._

_The clip board was taken back to the class for observation._

_"Evelyn had a total of 25, out of 70. She is a lady." Said the eldest student._

_"Sarah had a total of 10 out of 70. She is a woman!" squealed a young student._

_"Rachel, perfect as always."_

_"Why thank you."_

_"Oh my!?" Yelled the leader of the Zuka club. "Who is Taylor Morinozuka!?"_

_"She is mostly Evelyn and Sarah's friend. She is married to Morinozuka Takashi." _

_"What is her score?" _

_"68, out of 70!"_

_"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" The girls screamed. "What is feminine about her!?"_

_"Her body. She is a woman genetically."_

_"This is a huge problem! Go get her now!" A group of people left to go get her. "All extra credits will be awarded to the person or team who can change her!" Rachel yelled. Everyone in the school decided to help with this problem, so they all grouped up and reviewed the facts._

_At the Morinozuka Manner_

**Taylor was in the living room watching a movie. When the girls came in she gave a huge fart.**

**"Oh!" a young girl exclaimed. Taylor dropped her bucket of popcorn and looked around. She saw all the girls in their frilly pink dresses and gasped."What do you want?" she asked, trying to be nice to the little girls.**

**"We want to teach you something we learned in class!" a six year old said.**

**Taylor was unimpressed by her cute charms. Her lack of awwing made the girls certain, she wasn't feminine enough.**

**They took her and put her in a car and drove her to Lobelia. **

**There they sat her in a chair and tied her gently to the arms and legs.**

**"Lesson number 1." said a little girl. "How to eat daintily."**

**By lesson number 58 Taylor was ready to shoot herself.**

**Then,**

**"I need to go to the hospital." Taylor said calmly.**

**"That's not going to work miss." a young woman said politely.**

**"I mean it, take me to the hospital or I will sue you."**

**"Why, miss, do you believe you are in need of medical attention." another girl asked.**

**Taylor looked at her calmly.**

**"Because I am about to give birth."**

**The girls in the room gasped. Just then, they saw something drip from the chair.**

**"Her water broke!" someone screamed.**

**"Please untie me and take me to the hospital."**

**"Yes! Oh, we are sooo sorry."**

**They untied Taylor and put her in the car."I have a bag at my home with supplies and new clothes for the babies."**

**"We'll have somebody go get it!"**

**Taylor made herself comfortable.**

**They drove her to the hospital and settled her into the maternity ward.**

**"I need a phone to call my husband." Taylor said.**

**"Anything ma'am!"**

**She dialed Mori's cell.**

**"Takashi?"**

**"Yes?"**

**"I'm having the babies."**

**"Really?"**

**"Yes, I'm at the hospital. I have to call my mother now. See you soon."**

**"Okay, honey I'll be right over!"**

**"Thank you sweetie. Bye."**

**She called her mom, and Evelyn.**

**She now understood how Evelyn had been so calm. It wasn't bad at all, at least, until the contractions started.**

**"GOD!" Taylor screamed.**

**"That was exactly two minutes after the last one." Evelyn said, stroking Elizabeth's little head while she looked at Taylor calmly.**

**"You know, the room I was in is right next door to this."**

**Mori held Taylor's hand. 'Good thing he's a martial artist because that grip would break anyone else's hand.' Evelyn thought.**

**A couple hours later Taylor had both of her children in her arms. The girls from the "Little Ladies" class were in the room cooing over the little darlings, and Rachel was apologizing again and again for kidnapping her.**

**"You are 100% a woman!" the class declared, seeing how she lovingly and tenderly cared for her new babies. They clapped daintily and then left, a lady never stays out late you know.**

_"They are evil." Taylor looked at her husband who held Raven closely. "Where were you when I was kidnapped by those nuts? I am scared for life. You know, they probably bought on labor with all the pressure." Mori only laughed as he handed her a beer. "Love you dear." She took a big drink. "All I need now is a good night's sleep."_

_"When do you plan on getting that?" Evelyn asked. Taylor upped her morphine dosage and showed her._

_"I hope you aren't going to breast feed, I don't think any good will come of it." Evelyn warned._

_"She drinks, she can take drugs with no ill affect, and all the crap she eats she is still that skinny. I think she is pretty unearthly healthy, and I think the kids can only benefit from it." _

_"True." It was weeks before anyone saw the Morinozuka family. Getting used to the babies for Mori and Taylor, was very difficult. They both where in terrible moods. Even Mori started to get testy from lack of sleep. After awhile everyone decided to leave the family alone for a long time. _


End file.
